The Notebook had my 5’oclock shadow soaked in tears. Anyone’d cry watching The Notebook, it’s super-touching right?
Yeah, I guess.
Truth is, I would’ve cried watching The Blacklist.
See, I cry way more often than is ‘normal’ for a guy. This week alone I bawled while reading a noir mystery-novel, and teared-up staring at heart-achingly beautiful woman.
Now I enjoy it this way, I feel being open to all life’s emotions makes me a more passionate, sensitive, creative dude.
Most of world’s great masters & legends have all wept. They’ve shown emotion. They’re passionate. And so am I
But it wasn’t always like this.
Some people numb themselves and hide from many feelings… I know I did.
For decades I believed ‘guys don’t cry’ and ‘logic beats emotion,’ I ended up cold, arrogant, and repressed.
But that just wasn’t me. I love humanity. I care about people. I’m warm & welcoming. And all that stuff went away, when I shoved certain traits of myself in a box ’cause they were "too girly."
Yes, I’m a badass dude, but now I’m a badass dude who owns, listens to, and expresses his feelings.
At the same time, many girls I knew were meek, wishy-washy, and indecisive.
I wondered… might they have put traits like confidence and decisiveness in a box called ‘too masculine?’
The more I thought about it, the more the boxes were obvious to me. In every culture there were ways of being that on some level understood as more feminine or masculine.
It was in the DNA of life.
But it’s easy to over-simplify.
People aren’t binary. They’re more complex, capable of being anything, including both masculine and feminine.
And it’s not about being a man or woman or neutral. It’s not about lesbian, gay, or trans.
It’s about being whatever’s inspired.
From Jesus to Jay-Z, Cleopatra to Beyonce…
I learned I could choose any quality I wanted, and be whatever I wanted.
I learned some qualities are ‘better’ at certain times, and certain situations, at least for me.
I learned that I lean noticeably towards ‘masculine’ qualities, but I’m sensitive, with a huge heart, and I like it that way. It’s just my preference.
If you’re like me, maybe no one taught you anything about this stuff. Maybe your life could be a lot better, especially in relationships, whether business or personal. Maybe I can pass on my experience and what I learned.
I wanna help, so here goes.
There’s a bunch of traits people can embody, but they don’t teach you about ‘em in school. You could be missing out on some traits that’ll create amazing results in your life, simply ’cause you’ve never tried ‘em out.
Wanna be radiant? Deep?
Tune in to your personal qualities.
Right now, this very moment, can you feel how developed your ‘depth’ is? Or how ‘radiant’ you are?
Some people have never even seen those words.
Others get it, though. They’re aware of what qualities they currently bring to the table.
And peeps have a sort of, unspoken agreement on which qualities are ‘more masculine’ and which are ‘more feminine’.
Truth is we’re free to express any quality we want.
It’s possible to feel if we’ve developed certain traits well or not-so-well.
Ignore this and chances are you make your life… suckier. Let yourself try the traits in the list below & generate big improvements.
If you’re a chick (or like being feminine): Refine the following qualities in yourself.
Really embody ‘em & live ‘em every chance you get. Make ‘em be a magical part of what other people feel from you.
If you’re a guy (or like being masculine): Realize the following qualities matter.
They’re not to be judged, they’re to be leveraged to help you reach your goals, you can find them in yourself sometimes, its ok, or you can collab with others who possess them.
Come on now, who wouldn`t be thrilled if someone in their life became more ‘receptive, radiant, and surrendered?’
If you’re a guy (or like being masculine): Refine these qualities in yourself.
Focus on ‘em, master ‘em and expand ‘em as much as you can.
If you’re a chick (or like being feminine): Realize these qualities matter.
They can add to how you connect with other human beings. It’s fine to use ‘em sometimes, or collab with others who possess ‘em.
Example: The miserly loner.
Franz is a loner driven towards money. If being that way works for him, great, but Franz can’t quite seem to strike it rich.
Chances are he unlocks wealth from bringing a little more sharing, patience, and nurturing into his life.
Example: The flighty diva.
Rhiannon is a flighty diva who flits carelessly from group to group. If being that way works for her, great, but Rhi can’t quite seem to grow her projects or team.
Chances are she soars with her team by bringing more discipline, authenticity, and focus into her life.
So understanding masculine & feminine, and using them to rock your life, is totally recommended.
"Of course once you are enlightened, you have gone beyond the discrimination of sexes. Beyond enlightenment, you are simply human beings. But before that…. Be proud of your qualities. Increase them, refine them because they are the path towards godliness. Man is not in a better position than woman as far as religious experience is concerned." – Osho
Now this doesn’t mean you need masculine or feminine qualities, it’s to help you have clarity and freedom to create a personal blend of qualities that suit you. And they’ll even change at different times.
Bonus Link: Irina Krush, female chess champion – Chess Requires Masculine Qualities.
(Special Note: Like attracts like. If you want it, you’ve gotta be a match for it.)
Aight. So, these are some key traits you can make use of, but it’s not all of them.
These can change your life in game-changing ways, but it’ll take some honesty.
Can you get real and raw with yourself?
You gotta look at yourself and see what suits you.
For a lot of peeps it’s scary to say ‘I enjoy surrender. I’d love surrender more often (in safe environments).’
For others it’s scary to say ‘I’m enjoy decisiveness. I do what I want, when I want, consequences or not.’
Like many scary things in life, if you can psyche yourself up by imagining the new, improved, better version of you, then start taking the steps — the rewards are great.
Don’t wait or hesitate.
Open up your inbox right now and send yourself an email that says:
"I now choose to be more <X>." – where <X> is a trait you like.
Thanks for reading my story and sharing my experiences with masculine & feminine qualities.
P.S. I’d love for you to share your stories and experiences too, so hit me up in the comments!