See, for the first time in a while, I’d been feeling a real, true, deep form of family support.
My uncle invited me to stay with him, and after almost a year of no shelter, it felt like heaven. Better than heaven.
My parents are in Mexico, my massive extended family spend most of their time apathetic, distant, or worried about food and shelter.
And that’s something most people don’t really understand.
We’re all born with dreams, yes.
But we’re all also born into an environment of "Same-Thinkers."
These are ‘drones’ who, although they’re super-loving and well-intentioned, operate on old traditions, old ways of thinking, and stuff that’s gotten them through life, but they’re generally close-minded to anything out of the ordinary.
You wanna be an entrepreneur? You were probably born into an environment of blue-collar workers.
Already an entrepreneur, but wanna go digital? You were probably born into a family of traditional, brick-and-mortar entrepreneurs.
You get the point.
These groups were here before we arrived in the world, setup before we were born.
And somehow, someway, we’re all born into a group of “Same-Thinkers”, and the chance is high that we have another, more unique calling.
These unique callings and dreams, basically mean that sooner or later, we’re gonna have to go against the grain, and break the mold of the status-quo.
And guess what happens when we do that?
Yeah, it’s not hard to see that our familiar, reliable, secure support systems and groups will outcast us and distance themselves from us, as we make moves that go against everything they believe and were raised to believe.
The support systems we were born into, disappear.
At least, that’s how it went down for me.
And that is some scary shit.
But it’s cool, I’ve handled that particular fear, embraced it, and made it serve me for years now.
People didn’t believe in Ryze.
Family, friends, business partners, girlfriends. All gave up when things got a little intense.
And it’s a good thing they did.
Because that’s how I learned that “traditional support systems” aren’t necessary to rock life. They aren’t necessary because my dreams, my passion, my power, and my resourcefulness were greater than I realized – and the truth is – the same goes for everyone.
Every individual, every human being is more powerful and resourceful than they usually realize.
Human potential is off-the-charts.
But I don’t know any stories of people who’ve unlocked all that potential without pressure, haters, challenges, etc.
So I’m glad people doubted and drifted from me.
Because as I stand firm and keep Ryzing, more and more people keep coming back. Haters are changing their views, family’s re-uniting. It’s pretty awesome.
And I was super-super-super glad when my uncle dropped me a line out of the blue and invited me out of the cold streets and back into his life.
He offered faith in me, faith in us together, and faith that we can uplift each other. He didn’t give a single thought to all the stuff people worry about, he was just like: “J, dude, we’re family, and I’m with ya whatever it takes.”
That’s love, and it felt like I had an amazing environment to build Ryze up… almost.
Because it’s not just my uncle’s house.
It’s my uncle’s house… and… his “girlfriend’s”.
And here’s the scary part.
This is the other fear dream-chasers have to face, but that no one talks about.
What fear am I talking about?
Fear of walking away from it all.
Once you have the comfort, the support, the love, the shelter, the stability, and the resources you’ve been dreaming of… what if there’s a deal-breaker involved?
What if you know deep in your heart it’s “not right”?
Can you say “No, I won’t settle for almost. And I won’t take all this support, if it means I have to live with an abusive woman.”
‘Cause even though my uncle’s offering all the awesomeness I’ve wanted from family members for ages, his girlfriend goes on alcohol-fuelled emotional rampages.
She transforms into a spoiled brat, who throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, threatens to kick me out when she’s upset with my uncle about something, and worries about her reputation and how she looks, rather than doing the right thing.
And she and I used to be close.
All I did for the brief time I was there was give her love, conversation, hugs, and support. It didn’t seem to help, even the dog cowered and hid from her.
So I had a choice.
Basically… I felt safer and more productive living on the streets, than I did at my uncle’s.
Even though his house was everything I’d wanted for months, it was poisoned, and I could feel it holding me back and dragging me down.
I’m a positive badass, but I’m not superman.
I can only help those who are open to it, and she never onceasked for my wisdom, despite having it at her disposal.
I love this woman — and my uncle’s super loving too — never a bad word about her. He’s immensely calm as she rages.
We know she has some issues and some growing to do though, and it’s not something we can fix. It’s her thing.
Do I walk away from my uncle’s,and voluntarily head back to the icy Toronto winters where good food and sleep are almost non-existent and where I burn through the trickle I’ve been living on fast, no matter how epically creative my budgeting?
Or do I hang around the negatively charged atmosphere, walking on eggshells not knowing what this girl’s capable of and wondering if she’s gonna call the cops, throw my or my uncle’s stuff out on the lawn, or even hold it hostage?
Scary choice, eh?
Think about it.
What would you do?
Well, to me it was an easy choice, I’ve learned to always trust my heart, and always do what feels best, and even though they were shitty choices, what felt best was to leave that place and be peaceful and free, rather than sheltered but repressed.
I wouldn’t be sleeping much, but I’d still be able to make moves and contribute to the world.
So I did what had to be done.
Hopefully things work out, hopefully they do it quickly and my comfort and support ryzes.
So where’s the gold in this story for you?
It all lies in the way I made the tough call.
As we pursue our dreams, we are all faced with ‘tough calls’, but there’s a way to make ‘em easy.
You have to use an ultra-rare skill that almost no one talks about.
You could read thousands of web pages, books, and magazines and never learn what I’m about to share with you.
Follow Your Heart.
Oh yeah, you’ve heard it 100s, 1000s, even 1,000,000s of times, but not in a way that “clicked”.
People talk about it like something you “do”, and it is, but more than that –
It’s a SKILL you PRACTICE.
Steve Jobs was very good at it. Same with Jay-Z. Same with Warren Buffet.
And I’m no slouch.
I practice following my heart.
How do you do it?
Well, it’s different actions for everyone, but it`s the same in feeling.
You can always feel if a choice is something you’re pumped about, jazzed about, or something you’re hesitant and fearful of.
Most people are so out of practice that they can only tell a tiny bit, but we can always tell.
So you have to practice.
And that means making lots of tough calls in the beginning, because everything feels like a tough call, because your heart-following muscles are way outta shape.
Once they bulk up, things that used to be “tough calls”, become easy.
And people are impressed at the badass way you decide and navigate life’s ups and downs.
Most of my decisions impress people, but they feel easy to me.
Because I’m pretty practiced at following my heart, where most people are not.
I could get into tons of detail about this, different techniques, etc…
… but the main point is that “follow your heart” isn’t just some B.S. people say, it’s an actual skill, and it’s way, way, way more powerful than any pro/con list, or any success-mentor, myself included.
And it’s available to you at all times.
To me, it’s the #1 skill anyone can have, especially entrepreneurs, dream-chasers, and ryzing stars.
FOLLOWING YOUR HEART IS LIFE’S NUMBER ONE F***ING SKILL.
And my guess is that you could do with a lil more practice.
I know I can.
Anyway, thanks for reading, and if you wanna know more and wanna go deeper on this, book a coaching session with me – everyone’s individual and what we can accomplish together is mind-blowing.
P.S. if you have any “tough call”, “scary-shit” experiences of your own, share ‘em in the comments, I’d love to read yours!