Note: This is some heartfelt wisdom on how to have a good relationship. I’m gonna tell the story in terms of “guy dates girl”, because a) I love women (<– this old video I made has almost 40,000 plays), and b) I don’t wanna be writing "he/she" the whole time. That being said, it can all apply for guys or girls. K?

Let’s go

This weekend I spent some time with a couple chicks. My life’s been pretty adventurous lately, and my mind, body, and soul were calling out for some soothing, relaxing… fun!

The first girl was super-helpful, co-operative, eager, open, and literally jumped at a chance to be with me.

The 2nd acted hot & cold, wouldn’t follow simple instructions, seemed never to care about my schedule or planning, and acts entitled to take up my time, while bringing nothing substantial to the table.

These two women in such a short time, really put things in perspective.

See… I’ve had lots of friends who are chicks, I’ve had lots of clients who’re chicks, and I’ve had lots of chicks… if you know what I mean.

I was reaaaally popular in school.

I see all women as beautiful, but if you look at the pattern of girls I attract, they’re generally pretty … um … ‘sexy.’

What can I say

Anyway, the thing is… people have a LOT of crazy beliefs about ‘hot chicks.’

They’re almost not human in some people’s eyes.

They’re ‘celebs’. They’re ‘bitches’. They’re ‘out of your league.’ They’re ‘high-maintenance.’ They’re ‘emotional.’ etc.

That’s like saying ‘all rich guys are cocky assholes.‘

It’s simply not true.

Maybe the hot girls YOU attract are those things, but not every single one on earth, or even in your city falls into those categories.

Some hot chicks are awesome.

If you work on yourself and get clear – really f***ng clear — on what you want in a girl (or girls), and your standards, you’ll attract that type.

When I say ‘clear’, I mean that when someone asks you "your type" — you can ramble on for ages about it. You can passionately write pages about it. You don’t hesitate, you don’t stumble, you are CLEAR.

And when you get this clear, things change. Believe it.

The women in your life will change. Some will transform, some will leave, new one’s will show up.

The chicks you’re used to having in your life, now or from the past, may no longer ‘click’ very well with you.

Why?

Because you grow at your own pace, in your own direction, and so do other people. Period. That’s life.

They *might* co-operate and come on board, but once you get clear on your shit, the women you know might just disappear and make room for way better.

It’s their call too. It takes two.

So I’ve spent a lot of time, energy, and focus getting clear.

My whole life is very focused on devleoping myself and being the best J-Ryze I can be.

Not everyone develops themselves so passionately.

Like Steve Pavlina, I experiment with myself and my life. I’ve failed a lot, but it’s turned me into something pretty awesome – trial-by-fire-style.

Liz Leia, dating coach, said this about me:

"…Jason Fonceca from Ryze. I know that many women don’t believe that men who are willing to be this caring, open, and vulnerable even exist–so here’s Jason proving that belief wrong! Enjoy!"

My last girlfriend was going through a checklist in some relationship book, and said I had everything that makes a "great catch", interestingly, when I said I needed some time on my own to get back on my feet, she dumped me with a 2 line e-mail, but hey, I’ll still take the compliments.

I don’t say this to brag — though it does make me look oh-so-good — this is the kind of feedback you get when you’ve put in years of very insightful failure and vulnerable self-awareness.

It’s not the "funnest" thing people can imagine, but it brings a lot of growth.

So what am I saying?

I’m saying that in the same way I have 8 ‘failed’ businesses under my belt, I also have 8 ‘failed’ LTRs (long-term relaionships):

The Chick Stories – The First 4

Here’s a quick run-down on some of the women in my past. Note: they might tell you a different story, and that’s cool. I’m not out to paint a crappy pic of them. I have awesome taste.

Either way, no excuses… I’m always learning and getting better, and I’m not a saint.

Note 2: the images are just random celebs + models swiped from the net. I’m not trying to out anybody or point fingers

Jayden – High-school stuff. Gossip. Rumour-mill. But it got me my first kiss and my love of smooth complexion and vibrant smiles. Might not count as an actual LTR. Dates: The park, the stairwell, recess. I wished she’d: be more sexual.

Regina – Dated for quite a while, also in high-school but her drama, strict asian-upbringing, and self-deprecation got old fast. What I loved her passion, her hunger for my attention, her cuteness and thoughtful and supportive gift-giving. A really beautiful soul who eventually…um… dated my best friend. Lol. Dates: Dances, cafeteria, library, parties. I learned: Mostly I learned what I didn’t want. I didn’t want high-school, self-cutting for attention bitchiness. But hey, it was high school. I wished she’d: Be positive.

Lauren – Regina’s hotter best friend. I was too girly and she was too masculine. I got all angsty and emotional toward the end and it got me clear on how I definitely did not want to be. Eventually I became a badass and skipped her wedding to work on my business. She never sat down to hear my side of the story, and she also never talked to me again. Not the smoothest, but I learned a lot about myself. Dates: Movie-nights, parties, theatres, eateries, parks, swim-meets… I learned: How I like conversations to go. That I love stunning eyes, gorgeous skin, bone-structure and curves, but like I said, she dressed and acted mostly like a tom-boy. I wish she’d: be sexy.

Roxy (first-time-round) – This chick openly and enthusiastically asked me to use my art skills to create something beautiful for her. Sweet! I love it. I was inspired and psyched. We dated long-distance, this is back when I was a pussy and she cheated on me. She had the decency to admit to it, and we stayed friends. I’m pretty comfortable with mistakes, forgiveness, etc. I learned I loooove feminine women. She had a lot of great feminine energy. She was bubbly, happy, laughing, chatty, eager, sensual, sexual, etc. – I was a chump who just kept giving her my skills, talents, time, money, etc., she just kept taking. No surprises, and eventually I learned. (And I do mean … eventually.) Dates: Insanely intense, soulful phone-sex. Yeah, I said it. I am, after all, a master of words, eh? The occasional meeting. I was a rock during some of the roughest times of her life. Go me I learned: I learned traits that I really love to have the women around me display. From this point on, every chick I’ve ever hung out with has become more beautiful, sexier, more open, more playful, and more positive. If you check pictures of ‘em pre-Ryze and post-Ryze, the proofs there. I’ve transformed hippies into fashionista’s and chubby chicks into fit chicks, straight up. I wish she’d: Stop settling.

So you can see how this is going, right? Each chick improves on the last, I learn something new, and want something improved.

I generally consider myself a fast learner, but you could probably do it a lot faster. You don’t need a painful LTR to figure out there’s some very, very important missing qualities, do you?

Here, take a look at my next 4.

The Chick Stories – The Second 4

Ariel – This chick kept herself as the boss and me under her thumb. I’m not saying she’s like some mean chick who did this consciously, it was just how it went. I take full responsibility for bringing that out in her, this was before I took a stand about who I am. I felt lucky to get time with her, and the once or twice she let me in her house and to see her family… I was stunned. She used her beauty to get thrills and attention from all the guys at work, but realized I was a really positive, supportive long-term prospect. When push came to shove though, she wanted everything on her terms and wasn’t interested in my joy. It’s all good, what I took from this: I love beautiful, shiny, naturally well-kept hair. I love active chicks who’re ready to play. I love chicks who can get along with my friends. Dates: Movie nights, the beach, center island, house parties, sports, games, bars, restaurants. I learned: In the end I did take a stand. I quit my job and dumped her in the same night, after telling her what I would and would not accept in my life a week earlier. One of the most badass things I’ve ever done in my life. I learned to be me, and I’m very thankful. I wished she’d: Care about bettering herself.

Monica – I was always clear that I wasn’t really interested in her, and that this wasn’t a relationship, but the amount of time we spent together and the occasional ‘play’, could qualify it. This chick was a firey, passionate scorpio type, but had so many issues it’d make your head spin. I figured hey, I’m a success-coach, I can ‘cure’ her right? HahAHHAaha… she took every lesson, support, and attention I could give her but most of what she brought to the table was food, some arts + crafts, and drama (for a while I had a custom jewelry line, but then, I was her first paying customer ). I loved some things about her. She was really into personal growth, she was really into nature, she was really open to any invitation or chance to be in my life, she didn’t hesitate to say yes — in more ways than one Dates: Cemetary, rock-climbing, the island, etc. I learned: I learned to express myself clearly. I tried every gentle way I could to get this chick to move her life forward, but in the end, the only thing that worked was being um… extra clear. I wished she’d: take committed action.

Hailey – This is when I was really psyched for a partner, someone who was in it for real. She was, so long as she could manipulate things and she didn’t really have to do anything outside her comfort zones, lol. Turns out it was mostly lip-service. Her heart wasn’t in it. It was mostly just me being a surrogate Dad, taking care of her emotionally. I introduced her to my friends, family, brought her on board with my business, taught her tons of skills, helped her model, filmed her videos, photographed her, started multiple businesses she seemed passionate about, got her clients, and generally hyper-extended myself for her, because… being nice is good… isn’t it? We’re supposed to be generous, right? Oops. Still, there was so much I loved about this. She was so much the total package. Smokin’ hot, super-expressive, pretty feminine, and super-enthusiastic about me and my work… or so it seemed. She said she’d follow my lead, said she ‘be submissive’, said a lot of things. I thought this was it. She stayed with me through homelessness, so she had to be in it for the long haul, right? Wrong, when I moved into my best friend’s place, she was invited, but instead she went back to her family, who hated me by the way lol, and a regular job. Dates: Lived together, homeless together, events together, picnics, elite Yorkville restaurants, terrace-view hula-hooping, kisses in the rain, f***ed on a Fedex store window, etc. I learned: That actions speak louder than words, but emotions and attitude speak louder than actions. It sounds small, but it’s insanely key. Get this and doors unlock. Very thankful to Hailey. I wished she’d: Believe in herself and me and us.

Roxy (Returns) – Yeah, she stopped commenting on my website, I didn’t hear from her for ages, she dated a bunch of other guys, and eventually she moved to Toronto. She’s been here for almost a year and I still haven’t met her. She continually sets up meetings and as the meetings get closer she becomes less communicative, more awkward, less committed and more flaky. A potential relatonship of some kind, but I’ve learned to let these things go and focus on what I like and what I stand for. I aim to set up time’s, places, and awesome dates with this girl — and I am very fucking good at it. I know Toronto inside and out, and as you can see above, take chicks on very cool dates. It takes co-operation though. It takes someone who wants me to succeed. It takes someone who wants to ease my schedule, not make it a nightmare. It takes someone who values me more like a great concert she’s looking forward to, rather than "some guy under glass" that she can crack open in case of emergency. "I’ll pencil you in", "I’ll get around to it", "I’ll move down the street from you and hide from you forever" is NOT what I’m about. Dates: A whole bunch of frustrating failed intrusions into my schedule and life, lol. I learned: People grow at their own pace, and that no matter what happens in my relationships, I’m focused on co-operation, harmony, and letting go of any attachment. I quickly move away from anything that doesn’t feel in line with that. I wished she’d: commit, communicate, and understand.

So… those are the major ones, and you can see I learned a lot about myself and got clearer on what I want from each experience.

Straight up, there’s tons of aspects I enjoyed from each of these fantastic women, I’m sure they’re not the same now as they were then (or, y’know… maybe they are, hah.)

We all grow at our own pace, and I’m blessed to learn my lessons and move forward, maybe that’s not how it goes for them.

Whatever the deal, I attracted these women into my life. I decide who enters and exits my life, and based on what criteria. I decide my standards. I take full responsiblity.

And well…basically… I put up with a lot of crap. (All the positive, none of the badass.)

Often times the most positive thing is to NOT put up with crap.

So here it is.

• If I’m setting up a date and trying to plan details, I expect the chick to co-operate. I expect her to follow my lead. I expect her to at LEAST try or give a helpful reason why not.
• If I tell a chick to be enthusiastic to meet me or don’t bother, I don’t expect her to schedule me in last after work, school, friends, parents, travel, food, sleep, bathroom, etc.
• I expect eager co-operation and support.

People get pretty bent outta shape about expectations, but look at it this way:

There’s 7 billion people on the planet, 50% of ‘em are chicks, and I expect to attract women that suit me.

That’s not so crazy.

I expect to breathe when I wake up – it just makes sense – and I expect women who match my standards. It just makes sense.

I mean really…

How hard is co-operation in a relationship? How hard is it to wish someone well and to help them get what they want from life?

I help people get what they want from life with every thought and every breath, and I’ve learned that I’m allowed to have the people in my life contribute the same way. In fact, I can expect it, because if they don’t, I’m outta there.

So, where I’m at now is that I want plenty of easy, fun, radiant beauty in my life, co-operating with my vision and career, and that delivers prosperity and general awesomeness to all involved.

Jay-Z + Beyonce are pretty cool role-models to look at. Or Tony + Sage Robbins. Or maybe even Charlie Sheen and his (now-ex) Goddesses

I want intimate, ‘adult’ fun but where everyone’s cool with themselves, authentic and open, and responsible for their own feelings and happiness.

If I can be happy through homelessness, arrest, betrayal, losing all possessions and more, they can be happy in their lives and relationships.

Besides, I teach this stuff, so like… I’ll help! It’s awesome. But it takes co-operation.

So now I’m clear, and I can tell very easily and quickly if a chick isn’t on board with easy, fun, co-operation.

• If she acts like she’s entitled to my time, nope.
• If she acts aloof or stand-offish and hides her true feelings and communication, nope.
• If she’s not enthusiastic about my work, value, and the awesomeness I bring to the table, nope.

This stuff isn’t hard to sort out. You could sit down and ask any objective friend and they could tell you that none of the 8 chicks I listed above fit these basics very well.

Co-operation was like… furthest from their minds. It’s like they’d never learned it, and didn’t wanna learn it, lol. I had some pretty un-co-operative peeps around.

Or she can use her emotions and drama not to help, but as an unhealthy way to keep attention on themselves.

Well… I didn’t know that. Okay? Maybe I’m dumb. But no one taught me the important difference between a hot chick with emotional mastery and comfort-in-her-skin, and a hot-chick who’s basically crippled by her emotions.

They look similar.

So I let ‘em use my joy, positivity and happiness as a way to fill a personal emptiness that was never satisfied. And it took me way longer than I’d like to admit to figure this stuff out.

But you know what? I bet it’s taking other people even longer.

Come on, isn’t this interesting, new, fresh ideas to some of you? The same thing goes for authentic passionate guys, and "jerks". They look very similar.

This isn’t stuff they teach in school, it’s not even stuff they teach on Oprah. This is high-level stuff that you’ll only learn on Ryze.

I’m giving you real stories of crazy relationships and how they were all teaching me in their own way, to get my desires & emotions cleared up.

And I haven’t even told you what happens after that There’s a phase two.

Once you know what you want, you’ll have to drop a whole bunch of B.S. society’s taught you before you even believe what you want is possible.

That’s another story though.

You deserve people who suit you.

I want you to have a life filled with relationships that suit you and feel good, how’s that sound?

Well… getting clear on what you want, is a massively important step.

Check it out, I know what I want, and it is really, really easy for me to say:

"I want radiant beauty, devotedly co-operating with me. I want playfulness and fun and going with the flow. I want people focused on harmony, and the best life has to offer. I want feminine emotion aimed at benefitting us all. I want enthusiasm and eagerness. I want someone uplfting and understanding and helpful. I want sexiness and surrender and physical intimacy, I want similarities to Iga Wyrwal, Audrina Patridge, and Alison Brie. I want someone sexual, not just ‘horny’ but someone interested in evolving sexuality in fun ways. I want to feel this stuff clearly and consistently.(Oh, and it doesn’t have to be all in one person either — I’m pretty… open-minded."

There. That’s pretty clear and pretty open and pretty vulnerable.

And that paragraph is a good summary of what I learned from 8 failed relationships. And since I’m so sensitive to it, it’s very easy to shut people down when they… well… suck.

Can you do write something like that?

Can you?

Huh?

Like, it’s almost funny how clueless they are.

I was too, and it kinda sucked

I want you to enjoy your relationships, and getting clear on ‘em is the best way I know how.

I shared some of my history and my stories and my hard-core, epic-fails, with the aim that you can gain wisdom from ‘em.

And you know what? I don’t have any solid results to show you … yet. But stick around and follow along with my journey.

Clear desire, strong belief, and taking steps in faith is how I’ve achieved everything else.

We’ll see how it goes with this, but in the meantime, tell me anything you learned from a relationship you’ve had! Everyone wants to talk about ‘em, well now’s your chance!

P.S. As I was writing this in my favorite cafe Panera Bread Co., a vibrant, exotic mixed woman named "Arri" sat down and started chatting with me.

After today’s failed date, I was very clear on what I wanted and BAM. Results.

She paraded her new platform shoes + gucci shades for me, she told me stories of meeting all the stars when she worked at Barney’s in New York, and she told me she wasn’t afraid to use her boobies.

She also noticed when the conversation had pulled me away from writing this article and hinted that she was open to dropping it if it would help me, so we wrapped it up nicely.

She was beautiful and co-operative and I told her so.

I’d say it’s a damn good start.

"I don’t know how you do it man. I am working so hard and not giving up. I know what to do, but sometimes I just feel like I got to head out and start beating the shit out of my wrongdoers once and for all." – An email I received recently.

Have you ever felt this way? Ever said something like this?

I have.

Even more likely, you’ve thought "I just want more money", "I just want better friends", "I just wanna get laid", etc.

But WHY do you want that stuff?

‘Cause really, deep down, you think it’ll make you happy.

See… people just wanna be happy. They just wanna achieve their dreams. Is that so wrong?

No.

I’ve been focused on that my whole life, and for a while I thought I could "make" people happy with my logic and my words (because let’s admit it, my logic and my words are super-awesome )

Believe me.

I’ve tried to MAKE a lot of things happen, and it’s really painful.

• Life’s bigger than that.
• Life’s more mystical than that.
• Life’s way beyond the right strategy, the right tactics, or the ‘right’ anything.

If you’re not open to that, you might as well stop reading this post. Hell, stop reading ryze, because every human being who’s risen to great heights thanks God.

Every human being who’s risen to great heights has lived for something greater.

And I get people asking how I’m so positive, so I’m gonna tell you.

I have millions of tools to be positive, like really… a lot.

And I’m gonna share an absolutely incredible tool with you one with you, and I want you to understand how valuable it is.

Just because it’s ‘free’ in a ‘blog post’, doesn’t mean skip it.

In fact, it means PAY MORE ATTENTION, because blog posts are treacherous territory where people can be distracted from incredible solutions.

Not you though, you’re way too smart for that, and you know Ryze delivers gold.

Pure gold.

And the tool I’m about to share will open doors for you beyond doors, because it’s a core foundation of success but NO ONE. Absolutely NO ONE on the net teaches it the way I’m about to teach it.

Get ready.

But first, I’m gonna tell you a story about when I was homeless with my girlfriend.

Cold, shivering sleep on a damp grass bed.

It was still morning, but the clouds had already gathered and started to rumble.

Downtown, which was already pretty grey, looked even greyer.

My feet were killing me from weeks of living homeless. I couldn’t walk anymore, and we didn’t even have enough to stay up all night in an internet cafe.

I knew Hailey and I needed a creative solution, but none were really jumping to mind, y’know?

So I did what I and most people do when they get their backs to the wall.

I gave up, let go, and enjoyed the day.

Hailey and I read a book, we shared a McDouble, and we played a game.

Sometimes the people around us aren’t able to see our situations too positively. I needed a break.

I went to one of the nicer bathroom stalls in the Manulife Center, took out a notepad, and started writing.

Homeless, no place to sleep, and a rain-storm on the way, and I chose to write.

The thing is, I’ve probably written more stuff that I appreciate about life — in much darker times — than anyone you know.

I’ve filled up hundreds of notebooks with art and writings and ideas about things I love.

I’ve filled up hundreds of text files with more of the same.

• If someone spends thousands of hours swimming, what do they get good at?
• If someone spends thousands of hours engineering, what do they get good at?
• If someone spends thousands of hours appreciating things, what do they get good at?

Exactly.

So I got good at seeing the best in things, and turning negatives into opportunities.

And a lot of it shines through in my writing and conversation.

Anyway, I didn’t know what the day would bring, I didn’t know where we’d sleep that night, and everything looked shitty, period.

I didn’t have money, I didn’t feel comfortable turning to any family or friends (they hadn’t shown much support for my life choices at the time), I didn’t want to enter the govt. system, and I didn’t want to hear any negativity from my girl.

So I wrote good things, it always helped.

I left the stall and went back to Hailey, and I took us to the libray to trawl Craigslist for opportunities.

And that night I had a brilliant inspiration.

I created a bed out of nothing.

Or almost nothing.

I made it out of our clothes and bags, and slept next to Hailey under a really big tree in Queen’s Park.

And you know what?

After I found a place with no lumps… I slept great.

I mean really, really well.

It was one of the best, most energizing sleeps of my life.

The waking up was a bit rough, heh.

(Did you know that dew will suddenly appear under you during the night? So you wake up in a cold puddle? Yeah, that happened.)

But I also woke up to a client wanting some web design work, enough to get me back on my feet.

If you got your back to the wall, world’s looking bleak, and nothing seems to be working – focus on something positive – life responds to focus. Focus is a vital skill, and writing is a gateway to focus that even a kindergardener could do.

So what’s the story mean?

It means you’re here on earth to experience some crap.

Ha ha.

Oh I know, somewhere in the back of your mind, you probably believe there’s a way to AVOID experiencing sucky things.

Which is why you worry and try to avoid things like homelessness.

To AVOID crap.

Bzzzt. Wrong.

You can’t avoid crap — it’s part of life. Much like birth, growth, and death. You never hear anyone trying to avoid being born, or avoid growing, but you always hear about people trying to avoid crap.

You can’t.

But there is a way to experience ‘crappy’ things in a different way, like I did.

And like all successful people do, in their own way.

They might not write, but they have attitudes, ideas, and ways to feel differently about their experiences.

Read their biographies and you’ll see, at a dark time, they were able to summon something from within and focus on something beautiful.

Successful people appreciate things at all times, they appreciate the sun that rises, the air we breathe.

They have deep desire and powerful beliefs that something will get them through, and they don’t spend their time bitching in e-mails and blog posts.

If you really feel like you need to write something or type it out — there are millions of words to choose from to express yourself. Try some good ones

"I remember bein’ blind to it
’til the day I put my mind to it
Pen and pad on the dress for me to fine tune it
I sat in a corner, made up my mind do it." – Rick Ross, Rich Forever

Successful people focus. They practically all write. They take repsonsiblity for their lives. (I don’t think you could find me an example of successful person who doesn’t do these things.)

They also do what they want, live how they want, and have fun with their lives

These things all go hand in hand.

• You can’t have a ballin’ life if worrying circumstances instantly cripple you.
• You can’t have a ballin’ life if the ‘dark future’ in front of you stops you from breathing or enjoying a walk or playing a game.
• You can’t have a ballin’ life if you abandon your ability to focus and get sucked into your own drama.

Sorry, that’s just how life works.

And it’s okay, ’cause I believe in you, and I believe you’re bigger than any problems and I want to help you.

So I’m gonna give you my number one tool to master life — and it’s ripped off almost completely from Abraham-Hicks, who’s meditations, process, ideas, and speeches I’ve listened to obsessively for the last 7 years.

They’re the inspiration for the movie The Secret and they basically started the law of attraction movement.

Now this stuff is pretty ridiculous to most people – if that’s you, fine keep trying standard strategies + tactics if they work for you.

Either way, I know I’m sharing something super-fucking-valuable and it’ll change your life if you give it an honest, open-minded shot.

It’s either that or wait til your back’s to the wall, like I did.

Ready?

The tool I’m gonna share with you is called an ‘Emotional Grid’

So you’ve tried everything, right? Nothing works, right?

I’ve spent a ton of my life trying to make sales or make my business work or make myself succeed.

I’ve tried all the "standard advice".

It doesn’t work.

At all.

But you probably already know that, you’ve tried making stuff happen too.

You want a fresh idea?

Ask yourself this: what’s the most powerful force to change lives? Hint: Jon Morrow knows, Brian Clark knows.

The most powerful thing to change lives is emotion.

It’s not hard, but it’s certainly rare.

Abraham-Hicks teaches ‘emotional grids’. They’re simple, and really powerful, and I’m gonna take you step-by-step through one.

And you know what it really is? It’s got a fancy name, but It’s just like, 7-9 words — but not just any words.

It’s positive, emotional words with deep personal meaning.

Let’s say you’ve been struggling with something for a long time (money, health, relationships, homelessness, whatever.)

So you choose words that are powerful direct opposites of all that. Use a thesaurus if you have to.

Tired of struggle? Use words like ease, flow, comfort, etc.

Get the idea?

Cool.

I’ll show you one that I used for homelessness, because I didn’t want to be homeless, I didn’t want to be separated from Hailey, I didn’t want to beg, and I didn’t want to feel like an ass.

Those were important to me, but where to start? What action could you take?

Bascially none — but you can use the power of emotions, which changes lives.

I knew I couldn’t just bitch about what I didn’t want, and I needed to create an emotional grid to rely on, so the first word I started with is "ease", and I put it right in the center.

Then I added "stable" and "comfortable."

Then I added "inviting" and "welcoming."

Then I added "fun" and "affordable."

Then I added "appreciated."

And I finished with "loving."

For most people being homeless would be a dark, painful, scary time – and yes, it had moments of that for me – but most of it was pretty positive.

I felt free, I felt happy, I felt at peace. I’d managed my emotions well.

And not long after I got in the zone, feeling positive and appreciating parts of my life, a solution presented itself.

Out of the blue, a friend I hadn’t talked to in 3 years e-mailed me and said: "J, honestly, I’d like to invite you to live with me.

I’d feel better if you and Hailey came to live with me. I don’t get a lot of company and you’re such a joy to have around, I’d gladly have you stay here."

So Hailey and I moved in with him, and it felt like heaven.

And the more I master my emotions, the more things go my way.

Now, I had to figure this out because I got pushed with my back to the wall. Hopefully no one’s forcing you to be in some horrible situation to learn the power of emotional grids.

You’re blessed, you get to read about it from me, and learn from my dark times.

This.

Is.

Something.

To.

Master.

This isn’t some chump-change thing to try once — this is something to practice. This is something to make habit, and it will change your entire life. It will take you so far towards your dreams and wants, but even better than that, it’ll make the "hard" journey actually enjoyable.

This is close to a magic bullet.

I said "close to", don’t have a fit.

It’s NOT a magic bullet, but it’s very powerful and it’s very rare.

I’m sharing it in public with you, but it’s still rare, because it’s only meant for people who are ready for it. Who get it.

Many people will prefer to read about the beauty of porn or how watching more TV helps you succeed.

It’s easy, it takes no money, barely any time (I did it in a bathroom stall), and it brings insane results.

BUT…

And this is a key point…

It takes focus. Once you’ve established your emotional grid, YOU CAN’T SPEND THE REST OF YOUR DAY WORRYING.

You have to take a breath and focus on that beautiful feeling of ease, or pride, or comfort or whatever you put in your grid.

Do it well. If you do anything in your life well, make it emotional mastery.

Please, I care about you, I want you to succeed, and I want you to learn something ridiculously powerful.

Will everyone who reads this try it? No.

Will everyone who reads this "get it?" No.

But if I’ve touched any of you please use it, and teach it to someone else.

Humanity can use more happy people. It really can.

So I’d love to hear you guys try it. I know it’s personal, but I’ve shared some pretty personal stuff here — if you can write down some words in your grids in the comments, that’d rock, and help all of us ryze.

It’ll be the most positive comments section on the net

Here’s the deal: most people secretly enjoy TV, and they should. TVs got a lot going for it, and it gets a really bad rap.

A ton of effort goes into making the shows and movies we all gobble up. The shows people watch are massive collaborations of driven, passionate directors, performers, writers, and crew.

It’s hard not to respect that.

Because TVs valuable and because it gives us something that everybody’s deeply interested in.

• TV gives us this stuff, quickly and easily, sure, but I say it gives a lot more.
• TV gives brilliant insight and eye-opening life-coaching.
• TV teaches you to be successful, inbetween all the laughter and tears.

Thing is… you’ll miss it if you aren’t paying attention, and most people aren’t.

You’ll miss it if you’re not focused on improving yourself and learning from everything.

I don’t wanna get in the habit of doing your work for you, but hopefully this will help start things off.

There’s goodness in TV and I’m here to lay some of it out for you.

I’m gonna start with one of the most impressive shows I’ve seen in a while – Community.

Community’s a comedy that unites a group of unlikely characters at a Community College study group.

The New York Times calls it: "mercilessly snarky and also surprisingly charming, which is not easy to pull off."

The show’s creation was spear-headed by Dan Harmon of The Sarah Silverman Show and Joe Russo of Arrested Development.

I could go on about how funny, moving, and mold-breaking this show is, but instead I’m going to take you through it’s pilot episode with an eye out for game-changing ideas.

So, ready to watch some TV?

You’re valuable.

All throughout the pilot episode of Community, there’s a running theme that "people are valuable" and that noticing and appreciating people’s value is the ‘special sauce’ of life.

Everyone’s hungry to be appreciated, and offering sincere appreciation to others is an incredible path to success.

Most people really don’t understand this idea, not really.

They get that on a surface level is important to understand people, but they don’t get it with emotion, there’s no feeling in it.

I write about it over and over, and still people don’t get how important it is to appreciate life.

Check out these clips from Community Season 1, Episode 1 and see if you get it.

‘Do You!’

Another deep insight is tucked inside this quick little clip.

See if you pick up on it.

It’s something personal to me, that I talk about often on Ryze: namely being real, being yourself, and ‘doing you’.

In this clip, Troy’s very focused on what the group thinks of him and his jacket. He’s worried about ‘looking weak’ by taking it off for approval, and he’s also worried about keeping it on and being hated on.

It seems like a lose-lose situation because either way he won’t be "seen" the way he wants.

Ever been there? Ever had a choice where either your parents won’t like you, or teachers, or girlfriend, or clients, or who ever!

Winger explains that both of Troy’s choices are ‘weak’ because none of them are focused on what he wants, how he feels best, and what makes him the happiest.

If Troy’s gonna wear the jacket or not, should really be based on what his heart tells him, and hey it might change as he gets older, but at least he’s "doing him."

Same goes for you, if you’re not sure what to do in your business or relationships, it’s probably because you’re too focused on what people think — do you.

And hey, if you don’t know how to do you, consider getting a coaching session with me or really making progress with Ryze’s How To ‘Be Real’ Blueprint.

And there’s one more cool idea Community offers us…

Be right, or be happy.

Our final reel focuses on Jeff Winger, the casually underhanded lawyer.

He spends much of the series trying to ‘cheat life’ but he also offers powerfully moving speeches and understandings of how life works.

During the clip below he explains how people’s perspectives can be shifted to make "anything right" but that’s not what life’s all about.

And he’s got a point– but there’s something to note: it takes a lot of energy and struggle to manipulate others or keep lies going all with the goal of being right.

When I was younger, I was very much like Winger. I was even told I’d make an incredible lawyer, because my confident way with words could ‘win’ any argument. (sigh )

It also made me kind of an asshole, who always needed to be right.

7 years of failure and being wrong cured me of that, but it’d be really cool if you could learn it from the video below.

Did it work? Did you get it?

Winger managed to convince the teacher, Mr. Duncan, that there’s no such thing as cheating and that helping oneself at the expense of others is okay.

It kinda back-fired on him though, as Duncan helps himself to Winger’s car.

Being right feels pretty good, and being happy at the expense of others, looks like it works but doesn’t, but ultimately doing what feels best to you, and aiming for win-win solutions where everyone’s happy are the most powerful.

Focus on enjoying and appreciating, and if someone’s view really bothers you, don’t deal with them!

At all!

Realize there’s a ton of people on Earth, and you can choose to spend your time with someone else

Shit’s cray, I know.

Laugh, cry and succeed

I’ve watched over 30,000 hours of pop culture, movies, and media and I don’t regret a single moment.

I’ve learned a lot from every bit of it, and you can too.

I’m not suggesting you let TV take over your life, you’re better than that.

I’m not saying use TV as a crutch to just zone out of life, you’re better than that too.

I’m saying… if it feels right to unwind with a show, go for it. I’m saying that yes, I know there’s a lot of B.S. on TV, but it’s your choice what you watch and it’s your choice what you get out of what you watch.

Community’s a show anyone can watch, but do you pay attention to the smart stuff they show you, or do you miss it?

If we sat side-by-side and watched the same "B.S." on TV…

Would we turn off our brains and let the show influence us and pull us away from life or would we mine it for laughs, feelings, and ideas on life?

I know what I’d do… do you?

Lemme know in the comments.

If you like this post, you might enjoy the post that inspired it from Denise over at nurturingcreativity.net – Inspiration Is Everywhere, Even In Your Television.

Related Post: Rap’s The New Shakespeare

Note 2: This post is why RapGenius.com founders should get a nobel prize for literature. <grin>

This is personal post for me, show-casing lyrics that really ‘get’ me (at time of writing). Not only that, it’s a controversial discussion starter.

Yeah, I said it.

Buckle in, it’s gonna rock.

It’s time for a fresh look, time for a new perspective. Hip-hop’s grown so much as a culture, and with good reason.

Rap is the new shakespeare.

There are some very passionate ‘literary folk’ who I’ve found are a bit sensitive if you suggest that… heaven forbid… language changes and things evolve.

Mercutio: If love be rough with you, be rough with love;
Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.

If applauding hip-hop in the same breath as a Shakespeare bothers you, just skip this post, but straight up, there’s a lot of good ideas if you keep reading..

Note: I won’t be making direct, technical rap-to-shakespeare comparisons, I’m addressing the bigger picture.

All set?

Rap’s The New Shakespeare…

…or something similar.

They both use meter, are based on rhyme, and blend music and language to create unique narratives.

They say beauty’s in the eye of the beholder that it’s all in your perspective.

And that’s true, but let’s talk about the people who create this beauty.

The artists.

The world’s artists, musicians, and writers offer us incredibly powerful insight, often way ahead of it’s time.

Some of life’s best insights come from the world’s poets. Shakespeare, Elliot, and… Jay-Z.

Yes, I just compared a ‘baller like Jay-Z to iconic historical wordsmiths? And with good reason. For their time and their generation, Shakespeare and Elliot moved people, evolved society, added words to dictionaries, and more.

Rappers have done the same thing.

Jay-Z has more records sold than Elvis and California passed the "Donda West Law," as a tribute to Kanye West’s mother. Oxford has added ‘bling-bling’ and ‘jiggy’ to it’s pages.

Not only that, but over the years hip-hop has taken a frowned-upon art and elevated it to a big part of what got Obama elected.

This is not some useless art-form to write-off as ‘trash’ or ‘noise’ or ‘not for me.’

Because it could be for you.

If you’re gonna go through more of your life without realizing the beautiful, immense, life- and society- changing power of hip-hop.

What do you think literary historians and archaeologists of the future will dig up and find, copies of whoever the latest and greatest poet is of our generation, or Eminem’s incredibly moving "Not Afraid" ?

The easiest way to see the beauty in hip-hop is to treat it more like poetry.

Write it down, break down a line or two — like way back in English class, but cooler.

If you want a jumstart on this check out RapGenius.com. Do it, but… after this article.

Here I’ll do some with you, let’s jump right in to one of the biggest releases in hip-hop to date…

Jay-Z And Kanye West – Watch The Throne [wiki link]

Jay-Z & Kanye West working together, (if you’re not aware, these are two of hip-hop’s greats) and recently released their first collaboration album: "Watch The Throne"

It’s expressive, deep, and powerfully moving.

These two are shining examples of artists who understand the DNA of art, audience, influence and success. To me, they’re clear examples of the leading-edges of hip-hop, and I`d love to do the same for other art forms, maybe you would too.

If you want to hear these tracks, they are all available on youtube last I checked.

The amount of word-play & layers with the pacing, flow and rhythm of the words is pure art. This is one of the most positive rap songs I’ve heard.

Rap is sometimes labelled as lowest-common-denominator stuff, but this top-selling album delivers smart commentary after smart commentary.

Some of Shakespeare’s greatest tales mirror the pathos in Jay-Z’s life.

Word, yo.

Rappers have incredible fan-bases hanging off their every word, do you think people were moved and entertained by Shakespeare? Do you think Shakespeare was passionate about his creations?

A big part of why hip-hop is so masterful with language and pushing the boundaries and evolving the culture is because rappers are passionate about their lyrics. They’re passionate when they create.

Their lines aren’t "just" something they wrote, their lines are personal and powerful.

Our world is filled with words, but how many of them channel the passion that we find in rap?

The amount of biblical references in Why I Love You is pretty substantial, and although some may call it presumptuous, I feel strongly that many artists (these two rappers in particular) have divine inspiration. I even wrote a 9 part series on this.

Question: Didn’t Shakespeare give us great father son drama as well?

Jay-Z started a club in Vegas, called the 40/40 Club, a twin to his successful New York location, but eventually he felt he had to let go of his investment and ‘let it die’, trusting that the loss would work out somehow. He mourns the loss a bit here.

David Amidon of PopMatters had this to say about the album, which I felt was very fitting: "[Watch The Throne] "succeeds in giving us both sides of both artists—the braggadocio and the social consciousness—in nearly equal measure." This is the kind of paradox Shakespeare could craft. Things that were simultaneously epic and inappropriate.

The Outro

Rappers use all kinds of literary devices, and they do it masterfully.

Here are some rap techniques (and lots ‘em are taught in advanced english classes.)

• story-telling
• word-pacing
• emotional impact
• extreme honesty
• exaggeration
• personality
• metaphors
• structure and flow
• polysyllabic rhymes
• fresh, current language (real talk)
• anticipation, emphasis
• and much more (google it )

I want you to appreciate hip-hop more. I want you to appreciate it not just ’cause it’s great to dance to, bob with, and sing in the shower. I want you to understand that it’s our cultures most flowing, concise, impactful story-telling from people who’ve truly lived.

Rap can move people, use it well, and to anyone who bitches about hip-hop being ‘degrading’ or whatever — look, if Jay, Ye, and Shakespeare were to sit down today and talk about the art of words, I bet they’d get along famously.

Would you?

Thanks for reading, hit me with your ideas + feelings on it in the comments.

So there we have it, fantastic
Jay & ‘Yè so climactic

Rhymes cuttin’ all the static
Automatic, gotta have it

Related Post: Hip-Hop Success Wisdom

I was ‘being bad.’

It was late at night, the whole house was asleep, and it felt taboo and even more eerie because I was doing something I "wasn’t supposed to".

My parents raised me to be a brilliant, loving, disciplined badass — and they did a fantastic job.

They also tried to tell me the porn was … evil.

Well, evil or not, and even though it took 30-40 minutes per image on my ultra-slow internet connection, I still went for it.

Every shudder of the ventilation in my basement made me jump, as if I was burned.

I thought I was caught.

Still, I was hungry to feel that thrilling rush of pleasure, downloading jessy-opens-on-beach10731.jpg.

Somehow, I knew I was ‘being bad’, and I knew I was sure to be caught eventually, but somehow…

…I knew it was worth it.

Alright, now I know there’s like a million ‘bad’ things people associates with porn.

Oh how the media loves a scandal, and so do the people who buy it

So let’s just admit it up front – there are dark sides to porn, but that’s not special.

There’s dark sides to everything, because everything’s about intention.

I could write an article about how useful hammers are for building stuff…

…or…

…I could write a post about how hammers should be banned because they get used injure and murder!

Oh noes!

Everything’s about intention. Things aren’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’, they’re given meaning by people’s intention.

Personally, I’m tired of hearing about how dirty, shameful, and degrading "recorded sex" is, so here’s a fresh view and some reasons to appreciate porn.

Yeah, you’re actually allowed to see good in stuff, even porn, crazy, I know.

Let’s rock.

Oh, and by the way ladies, you’re not left out — word-porn/mental-porn is included tpo. This means erotica and most forms of ‘romance novels’, which are just as titillating for women, if not more so, than visual porn for men.

1. Porn is creative variety.

If porn wasn’t creative, we would’ve come up with missionary way back when, and basically never changed it up.

In some cultures, reverse cowgirl was taboo at one point.

As far as society as a whole was concerned, blowjobs were completely off the table.

Now we have costumes, toys, aids, different environments, more positions than the kama sutra, multiple orgasms, g-spots and more.

Some people are so passionate about invention, it becomes an art.

Some people are so passionate about quilting, it becomes and art.

Some people are so passionate about sex, it becomes an art.

Does that mean everyone’s a good artist, or that you’ll personally love every creation? No.

But you might like the beauty of X-Art. (set to the music of Toronto-native, The Weeknd – Semi-Safe-For-Work and to me, very, very beautiful).

2. Porn is on-screen pleasure.

Porn is on-screen pleasure. Someone has put in a significant amount of effort to do something they find pleasurable, and record it and distribute it.

They could’ve recorded and mass-produced some violence and destruction (and in fact, much of the media does exactly that), but do you really prefer that?

Let’s say, you had the choice of watching 4 hours of violence today, or 4 hours of people pleasuring each other, which would you choose?

What if the world’s got it all f***ed up (again), and the truth is that observing sex acts is far more beautiful than we realize, and observing ‘violence’ we’re better off skipping.

3. Porn moves society forward.

Do you know…?

• Do you know where a lot of the "make money on the web" business models came from? Porn.
• Do you know where a lot of the demand for a faster internet came from? Porn.
• Do you know what a major appeal for camera phones is? Take a guess.

Our freshly digital society owes a lot to porn. Our population grows and evolves through sex, so do lots of other parts of society, directly or indirectly.

If you’re watching (or reading about) people have sex, and ashamed of it, are you really saying that growth is bad?

4. Porn is vulnerable & respectful.

Haha… I put respectful in there, and I mean it, but probably not how you think.

See, I’m not talking about whether it ‘respects’ women as a gender, or whether it respects people’s intelligence.

I’m talking about that it respects the human body, deeper than almost any other industry.

Even hospitals + funerals are all doing their best to "hide the shame" of being a human being.

5. Porn is release.

It’s a release (pun intended)

It is, and a key one.

Society’s filled with more lonely, depressed people than ever, and while doctors are busy prescribing prozac and wellbutrin (is this really the answer?) porn is easing the edge of a rough life for many.

For many people who might otherwise take out their feelings, frustrations and aggressions in a more damaging way, porn is a mouse-click away to help out.

But the same thing goes for drinking — it’s all about intention, and people drink to feel better, often.

6. Porn’s a backbone of the economy.

Yeah, you know the economy everyone’s so concerned about?

Porn’s a form of pleasure that’s supporting it in big ways.

It provides jobs, it flows dollars, it moves people, it holds attention.

It just… does. Take a breath and give it some respect, because it’s the reason you have "stuff".

Do we as a society want it that way?

Who knows, but if a house is being held up by shaky foundations, you don’t bitch and moan and protest the foundations, you IMPROVE THEM.

I say again:

7. Porn, like most things in life, evolves.

Get over it.

Whatever you think is here to stay, may not be.

Everything that bugs people about porn right now, might be totally different when virtual reality arrives.

Life’s moving faster than ever, and predicting it’s twists and turns is tricky, at best.

First only missionary was cool, blowjobs were taboo.

Now blowjobs are the norm, anal’s taboo.

Hugh Hefner, Charlie Sheen, and Big Love suggest that harems are the next taboo.

What’s next? Who knows. How long will it take to arrive? Probably quicker than you think.

Start appreciating porn.

It’s a giant topic and it touches so many parts of your life. Hating on something that is practically a foundation of society is not recommended.

Bitching about it in the comments? Not recommended.

Improving things and proposing solutions and helping society grow and evolve? Yeah, sounds good.

Hey, either way, whatever you choose… enjoy your life!

And unless you’re some super-rare type, admit that it makes your eyes (and other parts) happy to watch (or read about) people having sex.

It really, really does.

So lemme hear it in the comments, I told my story, have you had any experiences with porn?

P.S. Wanna watch something funny and semi-safe-for-work? Check out "Girls Love Porn"

Related Post: The Difference ‘Tween Love, Romance, And Sexual Attraction

Now, let me tell you something, I don’t smoke.

Sounds unbelievable you say? Looks like I should be, maybe?

That’s okay

I get that all the time.

For the life of me, I seem to give the wrong– if not bad — impression to most people I meet.

Apparently to some, I have a "bad boy" look which doesn’t give a shit about smiling.

It’s pretty ironic that most of my close friends now tell me stuff like: "I never liked you when I first met you…

… but after talking to you, you aren’t really an asshole."

And I’m like, "Haha err okay… Thanks?"

Maybe this doesn’t sound normal to you, giving off a shitty vibe to people. It’s kind of as if I lead a dangerous life.

No man, not at all.

I love being me – not smoking, bad boy looks and everything. So what if my first impression sucks?

There’s a whole lot to this not-giving-in-to-peer-pressure factor, standing your ground and ultimately being yourself.

Live the person you’re meant to be, and good things will come.

First Cigarette At 10!?

My first trial by fire (get it?) came when I was only 10. I was hanging out with a boy who was older than me at the playground when he started smoking. At first I was like, "Wow underaged smoking".

He offered me a puff. I froze…

At that timeless moment it hit me like, “Oh wow, isn’t this the part where I’m supposed to say no, like how school has taught me?”

Oh yeah, a little education here. You see, back then in school they decided to plant it in us little young kids that smoking was bad. Not only would you get bad breath and stuff, you would mostly likely become a bad person.

I stared at the cigarette. It felt like the crossroads, angel and devil in front of me. Two simple words, "yes" or "no", would make a huge ass difference FOR THE REST of my life.

And with that, I said “no.” From then on, I sort of knew that I had it within myself to continually refuse all offers of smoking or resist any kinds of temptation.

Why Is It I Never Took Up Smoking?

It’s like a non-smoker’s thing, a streak you just want to keep in your life. It’s kind of unexplainable. I’m sure everyone has that special something in you that you just want to keep unique to yourself.

Secondly, it was for practical reasons. I didn’t want my health or stamina to be affected in anyway, especially since I am a Bboy. I mean yeah, there are many awesome Bboys who smoke, but I was afraid it would slow me down anyway.

Also, I didn’t want to spend on cigarettes. I’d rather save them for other stuff. At the end of the day, I know smoking is jus’ something I can live without.

Just for the record, I got nothing against smokers, not at all.

It’s just a little habit people form. Other than that, I don’t think smoking indicates the content of one’s character. Most of my friends smoke and I freaking love them!

Peer Pressure Can Weigh You Down

You may be thinking, “But Alden, there are so many smokers around you, wouldn’t you feel left out?”

Like, being that loner with no friends?

No I didn’t feel left out. It wasn’t like people who smoke started avoiding me like the plague and talking shit about me (remember, smokers are not assholes).

But most of all, I didn’t feel left out because I knew what I was doing. And that gave me the confidence in being different.

You see, everybody has friends, and with that, you feel a need to actually fit in. Sadly, there are many people who fail to recognize that some friends are toxic and start giving in to the wrong kind of pressure and influence. 

Fitting in, blending in, following the crowd– call it whatever you want. They’re all fine.
Everybody wants to fit in. Right?

It’s okay to belong, but be sure it’s NOT at the cost of your own self. And it’s unfortunate that people forget about that and simply conform just so they that they be “normal”.

I say this then: Sometimes, just forget about trying to fit in and belong.

If you find that you have to try too hard, screw it. Walk away.

We’re all human and we want to be happy, that is why we should actively surround ourselves with positive people.

Smoking happens to be the band-aid I never bothered to put on. What’s the band-aid you want to rip off? A shitty job with a crappy boss? An ongoing, unhealthy relationship? An addiction?

The bottom line: Ask yourself what’s truly bothering you before you conclude that it’s “normal” and it’s okay at that because everyone else is doing the same thing.

Standing Strong In Your Faith

Okay I hear you. You’re asking, "How do you stay so strong and confident then?"
It’s kind of easy.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Oh, but it’s just smoking” like it’s just some little aspect of life.
Be that as it may, but you know what? You’re actually missing out on the major benefits of actually standing your ground and not giving in to the crowd.

And that is respect.

You may not be indulging in the same things they do, but if you show signs of independence and maturity, people would not only respect you just for being who you are…

…but even admire you!

Remember the aforementioned faces of awe?

People hardly believe I don’t smoke. I don’t get ripped on for that. People just get surprised and wonder how I do it, despite my pro-smoking surroundings.

Now, extend this assertiveness to something even bigger, and that is keeping a clear conscience and living the person you are meant to be.

Feel deep down in your heart and check the greatest feelings which come about.
Now, FOLLOW THEM all the way.

Hell, do this and you don’t even have to deal with pressure. The pressure just gives way to you.

It’s my personal belief that as long as you follow your heart and keep your conscience clear, good things will arise and manifest in your life automatically. And when I say automatic, I’m talking about getting the good stuff without any kind of effort. I mean… It’s just being yourself. Along with that comes little universal truths like believing in yourself, not giving up and being happy.

You can’t go wrong with that. So do it.

Breath Of Fresh Air

Well, sharing my non-smoker’s story felt like a breath of fresh air, so I’d like to thank you all for your attention for my Ryze guest post. But actually, the truth is, I’m always breathing fresh air.

You can too, when you realize you have all the power in the world to create your own path and be happy.

So how about you? How do you feel about smoking, peer pressure, and taking a stand? Let me know in the comments!

Related Post: Watch More TV And Succeed (Community)

I heard something I’m not a huge fan of (I prefer music), and I decided to use it as inspiration for a blog post.

What did I hear?

I heard some kids.

Not too uncommon.

True, and they were just saying ‘normal kid stuff’…right?

• "I don’t have that much money!"
• "Can you buy it for me?"
• "Maybe you can save up!"
• "I need like… a dollar."
• "My allowance is only –"
• "Shut u-u-u-p."
• "Come on! Please? Just gimme a buck."
• "OMG, like, you’re my best friend."
• "If I had 5 million, I’d give you like, 4 million for no reason."
• "You’re so nice."

No big deal, right?

Sorta.

These kids were being honest and showing their true colors, and the message they were sending was:

"everything I really want is out of reach ’cause of money (and probably always will be)."

Money All Around (See It?)

These kids have been taught pretty terrible stuff about money and value, and now it’s habit for ‘em.

It will probably stay that way for a while.

Which kinda sucks, but it doesn’t have to be that way…

…and I’ll tell you how shortly.

These kids don’t realize it, but it’s likely they’re gonna grow up to have a rough time with money, and I see the attitudes of "difficulty", "struggle", "limitation", "need", and "sacrifice" already shining through their words.

For every excuse they had about why they couldn’t get their extra dessert, there are hundreds of money-based things around for them to appreciate, but they don’t think they way yet.

And that’s okay. I’ve been there.

I believed, thought, and said the same kinds of things.

What they didn’t realize — and what you probably don’t either — is that you’re practically swimming in a sea of money, right now.

Racks on racks on racks of it are all around you, and I bet you can’t see it.

In fact if you’re like most people, all you see is a ‘desperate need for more.‘

But that’s just an attitude. Most people won’t admit this, but deep down they’re afraid they’re gonna die and never get what they want unless they get more money — and fast.

Bullshit.

That attitude’s killer. But hey, whatever works for you.

I’m gonna shed a little light on things — ’cause I’m badass like that — and because I like giving people the straight up truth.

I care about life, I care about the economy, and I care about you.

I f***ing care.

So here we go:

Right now, you’re benefitting from this blog post, and the reason is…

…people made and spent money.

Lots more than you think.

This blog post is way more value than you realize, not because I’m special (though I am pretty awesome), but because I typed it on a ‘Dre Beats’ HP Envy Laptop.

Do you have any idea how many "life’s-works" went into creating my laptop?

Is it "just" a laptop, or is it an incredibly passionate human achievement that some people had to dedicate their lives to invent and distribute?

Is it "just" a laptop, or did it start as a dream that funded and fueled the economy in big ways, and continues to do so every time I create on it?

Is it "just" a laptop, or did it reaching my hands involve the incredible investment of workers, venture capitalists, inventors, advertisers, factories, industries, and more?

When I look at the beautiful stuff we have in our lives, I see money.

Money is all around and it’s all how you look at it. You can see it like the kids I mentioned, or like me.

And you can do this with anything, at anytime — no one’s stopping you from appreciating.

Got a favorite piece of clothing? Realize the heart, soul, and money it took to get it into your hands. Got a favorite tool? Same deal. Favorite restaurant? Ditto.

You can laugh, but TP is a game-changer <grin>, and there are places that don’t have it.

Do you really appreciate why things exist in your life, or are they just "more crap" to deal with? Think about it.

For me to blog a few hundred words — took the heart, soul, and passionate life’s work of many people. No joke. You could interview some of them if you wanted to find them.

If you did you’d hear the stories of what they did and how they lived to create things for people like us.

This blog post is part of the backbone of the economy.

And don’t even get me started on the rockin’ coffee shop I wrote it in (Panera Bread Co.) or what my parents invested to raise me.

Guys, I want you to get this…

…people aren’t a drain on the economy — people ARE the economy. They’re the buyers, the sellers, the creators, the distributors — and even if some don’t look like it right now… they’re about to be.

I see everyone as super-valuable.

See, while the kids were whining about their dessert and allowance limitations, I was deeply appreciating the fact that I have a solid foundation to create from.

I’m thrilled that the staff at this bakery are able to easily get to work through the incredible value a car provides.

We used to have carriages and hand-cranks.

People always get MORE of what they love purely.

But you can’t LOVE something and BITCH about it at the same time. (I’ve tried).

Those kids and I have totally different attitudes towards money, economic value, and life.

If there’s something I can’t afford– I’m automatically thinking of solutions on how I can contribute more value and reap more rewards.

ZERO percent of my energy or moments are wasted on complaining. I replaced all that with appreciating my f***ing amazing life and creations – and I adopted this attitude while I was homeless.

You can too.

No Hate, Though

Let me be clear: I’m not saying all this to hate on the kids — they’re in a phase, and it’s important to go through — I went through it too, and probably for longer.

Most people are in a ‘bitch-and-moan’ about life phase.

I used to think I was ‘better than the government’, and I ‘deserved more,’ and I could ‘do a better job’ with the economy and I was ‘limited’ and others kept ‘taking all the money’ etc.

But I dropped those attitudes, ’cause… well… they suck and achieve pretty much… nothing.

Do you have any idea how many material things flow in and out of your life, and they’re all ‘money’ if you really pay attention?

All of them give you an easier way to live and create. They’re provided so you can do something awesome.

So you can contribute your part to the economy.

And "contributing your part" means NOT bitching. It means dropping thoughts like "I wish I could…" and "It’s hard because…" and "I couldn’t afford…"

Yes you can. 100% certain.

Period.

It might’ve been a while since a someone truly believed in you.

A while since someone told you "you can" and you really felt it, but I’m gonna say it to you again, and you’re gonna feel it like a giant high-five from a really close friend.

YES YOU F***ING CAN. I BELIEVE IN YOU.

How?

By dropping the excuses that society’s hammered into you, admitting that yes, you’re a badass, and then leveraging whatever you have to make something cool and deliver it to the world.

Realize that you’re resourceful, and that resources aren’t a big deal.

Are you resourceful?

Damn right you are. And you knew it when you were a kid.

When you were a kid you knew you were fun, valuable, creative, and resourceful.

Maybe you forgot that stuff.

That’s cool, Ryze is here to save the day

Think Different, Talk Different

From now on, you’re replacing bitching and moaning about money, resources and struggle with appreciation for stuff that you HAVE.

‘Cause everybody has ballin’ shit to appreciate in life, if they want to look.

You have solid ground to live and play on. (You didn’t have to PAY for the Earth.)

You have beautiful sun, rain, and environment which generate food that you have access to. (Farmers didn’t have to PAY for the first food to grow.)

You have a computer to read this on, wicked powerful technology, (maybe you even paid for it), but your PC has delivered it’s value a many times over.

Appreciate it. How helpful has it been to your life?

You have stuff that’s extremely valuable in your life – that you probably take for granted everyday – usually while you’re busy bitching or worrying about money.

Try living in a new way. (Unless you think the old way is working super-extremely well for you.)

No one’s gonna give you the truth this straight, but I really want to see you grow and flourish and succeed, and success isn’t gonna happen if you hate on money and disrespect all the value around you.

Make a promise to yourself– care about yourself and replace complaints with appreciation.

It works.

Take it from a guy who’s been homeless twice, arrested, and much more. You can learn these lessons on your own like I did, or you can learn them from my passionate words, right now.

Which sounds easier?

All I’m saying is…

Appreciate your life, there really is money everywhere, and appreciating it as much as possible will lead to more, just like it does for appreciating anything.

Rock on and ryze up.

Related Post: Money Equals Love

…I just don’t do what you do.

I don’t celebrate what you celebrate, or even how you celebrate. I celebrate like it’s going outta style, and chances are we have different attitudes about celebration.

Wanna uncover the mystery of *how* our attitudes are different? Keep reading.

Note: I’m thankful Annika Martins asked me the question: "What do I need to celebrate?" for her Celebration Series blog crawl. I’m honored to be one of the 10 she asked to blog about celebrating. See the rest or join at The Celebration Series.)

(Oh, and I’m gonna tell you how we’re the same in a bit too, wait for it )

Anyway, if you know me, you know that this post is one of the only times I’ve ever used the word ‘need’ on Ryze.

‘Cause, well… I don’t really believe in ‘needs’.

I believe in being badass, I believe in being successful and rockin’ life on every level.

So where’s ‘need’ fit into all that?

Nowhere, that’s where What can I say? Some call me a s***-starter.

But hold on, let’s not make a big deal of it — I want to answer Annika in the spirit of the question, and it’s a good one, because I feel super-passionate about celebration.

So…

You don’t ‘need’ to read what I’m about to share, but you wanna read it, because it’s some of the best, gold ideas you’ve ever come across about celebration.

Let’s do this.

***

"Yeah! Rock it, star!"

" Let’s run things– Sunday-Sports-Style!" my shout amped up by testosterone and adrenalin, rallying my friends to celebrate the summer day.

"Hah, yeah man! Let’s do it up!" my crew replied, tearing down the field with celebration and enthusiasm.

We we ready for Sunday Sports. We had snacks and friends. We were already celebrating.

When I was a kid, this kind of thing was a regular occurence.

When I was a kid we all celebrated like a boss.

We knew how to celebrate – for real. We ran around expressing ourselves and whatever desires we had, to anyone we could find.

Days were filled with basketball, video-games, and parties. We wanted stuff and for the most part, we got it.

My fam was tight, and our regular shared meals were non-stop laughter. We didn’t have forced family dinners, we had celebrations that none of us wanted to miss.

We followed our hearts and helped each other and collaborated together.

Sounds perfect, right?

Well it was, but as I grew older… life ‘changed’.

Friends came and went, and many of them abandoned the ‘celebration attitude’ we began with, in favor of a ‘more sustainable business model’ or a ‘secure job’.

Apparently non-stop celebrating was ”crazy’ and ‘childish’.

This is why I say I’m different, because to me, non-stop celebration is a way of life.

Not so much for others, like my childhood friends. Apparently they’d never heard of Jay-Z or Tony Robbins or Hugh Hefner, all people who inspire me to live a life of celebration.

See the thing is, most people believe having fun is not economically viable. (I do, though. So does Virgin. So does Zappos.)

Most people are scared and trade-away hours of their lives on things that don’t thrill them and focus their conversation on hiding rather than celebrating.

So, my crew joined the ranks of "most people", and before I knew it, the "celebration vibe" had all but disappeared, and I was the only one left holding it.

I was left to live a life of celebration… alone.

And I’m f***ing glad it went down that way. It taught me some very valuable things, and if you pay close attention, you’ll learn them here. (One thing it taught me is that I can celebrate every day, every moment, even if I have very little support around me.)

Note: You can read a lot of helpful shit on the net; you can learn money-making tips, and time-saving tips, and all that — but Ryze is one of the few places you’ll learn the ins-and-outs of celebration — This. Is. Valuable. Keep reading.

So, what did my disowned, abandoned, unsupported ass do when everyone left me?

I celebrated, and I got good at it, because…

1. Celebration’s A Skill – Master It

You have a life.

Duh, right?

Am I being too obvious?

Okay, try this.

Your life is a series of moments.

And when you were a kid, you made choices and took actions so that the majority of those moments were a celebration. You can’t deny it, every kid knew how to choose foods, skills, attitudes, and ideas that helped them celebrate.

You did too.

When you were a kid.

Somewhere along the way, you flipped it. You made choices and took actions so that the majority of your moments are totally NOT celebration. They’re boring. They’re bland.

The majority is read another blog, go to work, watch some TV – nothing that inspires real celebration.

And that’s cool.

You can have it either way, a life of celebration, or not – it’s your call.

Mastering the skill of celebration means celebrating on purpose. Every day. Every moment. As much as possible.

It means that your goal next week is to celebrate more, better, deeper, than this week.

Is this an average skill to practice? No, but it’s one I practice.

(See, toldja I have a different attitude )

Do they teach it in school, like reading or math? No, but Ryze teaches it.

Does focus on this skill bring way above average results? Yep, and achievers get it.

Does it mean you have to make "significant life changes"? Yep – eventually – but like any skill, you can start small.

• For example, how easy is it to celebrate when you take a deep breath? To just think "Ah yeah, that’s good. That’s something to celebrate!" – deep breaths are amazing, and if you reward yourself for them, you got a deep breath AND a celebratory moment.
• Or how easy it to celebrate rain? It cleanses the city, it promotes growth, flowers, fields, animals.
• How easy is it to celebrate a ‘good meeting’ or a ‘good conversation’ or a ‘good blog post’? Grab a glass of wine, buy a candy bar, go play in a park. You know, celebrate, like when you were a kid.

Celebration is a skill – one I intend to master and be famous for. Believe it. You can spend your time studying cycling or accounting or whatever works for you. We’ll see who’s life is more fulfilling

2. Celebrating External Stuff Is ‘Weak’

In the last section, I said to celebrate a breath. You can also easily celebrate a good meal (definitely a praise-worthy accomplishment, and if you don’t think so, talk to a third world child ). You can also celebrate a friend or family member or occasion, it’s all true.

And it’s so, so, so great to celebrate these things, of course.

But they’re still weak.

Each of those outside things has a stronger internal flipside, and celebrating that is massively powerful.

When you celebrate a delicious meal (outside thing) you’d be better celebrating: nourishment, satisfaction, deliciousness (internal).

When you celebrate a friend or family member, you’d be better celebrating: co-operation, togetherness, intimacy.

When you celebrate a group occasion, you’d be better celebrating: opportunity, fulfillment, joy.

Why is this so? Well… I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you

All I’m saying is I have a LOT of experience with celebration (and lack of it), and this stuff works.

Celebrate the deeper things, the core, the feelings – not just the outside things.

3. Combined Celebration Is Heaven

This is how we’re the same. We both love celebrating together.

Even though you can celebrate anything from breathing & sunlight to confidence & deliciousness on your own… celebration is far more powerful when done together.

Mind blown yet? No?

That’s ’cause most people understand this – it’s not the mind-blowing part.

The mind-blowing part is:

How many actions people could take to celebrate with others … but they just… don’t.

Are your family + friends bland and un-celebratory? Take action. Find a community online (dont act like their aren’t any). Co-workers letting you down? Take action. Post a craigslist ad.

Do something.

Let go of your default, auto-pilot life of minimal celebration and get into it with others. I guarantee you they’re out there, eagerly awaiting more celebrators.

Let it be you.

For me, every time I interact with anyone, from the security guard at my condo, to my students, to my mentors… is a celebration, and everyone feels it.

Ryze up, yo.

At The Core…

It kinda looks like I didn’t really answer Annika’s question. I didn’t tell you what I ‘need’ to celebrate.

…

Or did I?

If you were paying attention, you might’ve picked up on my real need.

Because I couldn’t imagine a life without celebration, and one thing I celebrate most powerfully… is ‘celebration’. We *need* more of it.

BAM.

So there you go Annika: What do I need to celebrate? Celebration itself. If I can get more people to celebrate, I love it. If I can catch someone celebrating, it makes my life.

Now, before I go, I’ll show you a clip of me celebrating with a girl I met on the street. I don’t have champagne in my hand, but my every word, breath, and conversation is talking about a LIFE of celebration. (thanks Oksana, and thanks Arthur for capturing this insanely raw meeting on camera.)

I know how I celebrate, do you?

Lemme know in the comments!

In case you missed it, there was a lot of buzz and demand for more videos of Jason over in this post. I promised one of the commenters, Melanie, more video goodness, and I love delivering – so here’s a post with not one, but TWO J-Ryze videos.

Feel the love! Ready?

First I’ll ask you a question: do you own what you know?

I don’t mean facts and figures. I don’t mean birthdays of friends, or a list of your favorite movies.

I’m talking the moments in your life, where you followed your feeling and good things happened. That’s something incredible, and most people take it for granted – it’s not appreciated – and so they don’t get more of it.

Think back about your moments of truth. Has this ever happened to you?

“Inside, it hurts. Then for a moment – you forget where you are and what you’re doing – a flash of knowing takes hold of you. It can’t be ignored. It literally forces you to take a stand, letting go of that uncommitted relationship, that soul sucking job or your family that presses you towards who you really – aren’t.”

You take a long, deep breath. You’ve just given the biggest ‘fuck it’ in your life, although on the outside nothings changed. You finally look up Alex Osterwalder’s business plan which has been on your mind since day one and you take the plung and purchase Ryze’s How To ‘Be Real’ Blueprint.

It takes you less than an hour and you’re mapped out for success.

You’ve taken the first step of a journey more real than any marathon you’ve ever ran.

And it’s just so damn funny when it happens.

It’s like, you could’ve done this, anytime.., yesterday… the day before yesterday… and you see a whirl of your entire last year where you spent fooling around in bars, in clubs and it’s like you’ve reached a mini-enlightenment.

It happens to everyone.

Here’s a few moments of my life that this happened to me:

Moment One

I knew damn well, that the day I met Jason, nothing would ever be the same. I remember asking: What’s with this guy? Why am I trusting him? And why change now?’

Well, I walked into his house raw, and I walked out with a brand new set of ideas – powerful ideas – too many to remember, but I felt clean.

Then I went out and ate a fish-filet at McDonald’s the next day and into my local kickboxing gym.

Wait, lemme make this clear…

…I was vegan just the day before.

Lemme make it clearer…

…I left the gym after 2 minutes.

J had an effect on me. I knew to set my life completely into a whole new direction.

It’s incredible. But that’s what happens when you meet someone who’s real. And these kinds of changes can happen everyday.

Can you handle change? Can you handle success?

Moment Two

An urgent email hit my inbox.

Jason wanted me to grab his laptop for him. He couldn’t go into the apartment because of Hailey’s court order against him.

Shortly after, I got a call from the last person I expected… Hailey.

She wanted me to meet her downtown, at the now-infamous condo where everything went down.

What was I to do? What would you do?

Go meet the girl who put your mentor in jail?

I could have judged or thought a million not-so-nice-things. I mean – great job – my best friend’s now homeless.

I said to myself, "change is good, change is good – everything’s going to work out perfectly." So I lent her a hand, gave her what money I had on me and took her out for a meal in the town. It’s what Jason would have done, it’s what I was taught and who I was now.

She and I stayed up all night watching a movie with some barbeque powdered popcorn.

Then the longest most heart wrenching discussion in my life took place. It was intense.

Everyday after that Hailey ‘knew’ what was right and put her heart and soul into getting Jason clear of his “crime.”

If it weren’t for me stepping up then, you would not be reading this post right now.

Moment Three

I was alone.

Or at least, I felt alone.

But in life you never really are, even when you think you are.

Going all out to support someone you love, even when it’s someone you trust takes serious balls. And I’ll admit, sometimes I wavered.

Do you think I never argued with Jason?

No fucking way.

When you have a genius, a Leonardo Da Vinci style of entrepreneur who’s done it all and you match him with somebody who hasn’t lifted a finger for any real work till he he hit his teens… well, you’ve got an interesting combination.

So we split, and not just once.

And every time, I took a step. I sent an email. I made that painful phone call. I even showed up to his door once with some local gourmet deli.

And I never regretted any of it. I always felt deep down, that each and everyone of those meetings helped me understand myself better. You can only get ‘knowing’ when you know who you are.

I always got clearer on success, and it might have taken me longer than most, but it was always worth it.

At The Core

Knowing is a root form of … RESULTS … which speak loudly.

I want to share with you the best video I’ve seen that’ll give it to you straight – what “knowing” really means and why it’s important. You’ll find this video super-powerful and I definitely ‘followed my knowing’ to deliver this post to you guys, so enjoy

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life – Steve Jobs

Here’s another thing.

You could easily replace the word “Knowing” with “Consistent Action” and then you would get this:

Consistent action is a root form of … RESULTS … which speak loudly.

No one could argue this. So what does this tell us?

If ‘Money = Love‘ …

… then ‘Knowing = Consistent Action = Results’.

But is there a difference between your average college athlete that spends 8 hours a day doing what he loves and Michael Jordan doing what he loves?

Probably.

Let’s see what Jason has to say about it:

Ed Note: I’m starting this at 3:23, ’cause that’s where the juicy part is

Now, Ryze’s HTBR program is launching at 12pm EST today. That’s in one hour. Jason’s only accepting 3 students for personal mentoring, so if you want to create like this man creates, and you know it’ll help you rock life like a boss, then I thank you for filling out an application and investing in your own success.

Ryze up and Rock on!

People you probably don’t think of as are badass, really are.

Mother Teresa? Badass. Your city’s entrepreneurs? Badass. Bruce Lee? Okay, everyone knows he was a badass.

But are you?

Are you like them?

Even if you were, how would you know?

I’m gonna help you, by outlining the 5 stages of badass, and how you ryze through them.

Oh, by the way, once you understand this stuff, your life will never be the same, so brace yourself.

I’m not kidding.

When you realize where you are on the badass scale, and where you want to be… actions will need to be taken. So I’m warning you right now, if you’re not ready for a new perspective on life — click away to somewhere safe and boring.

Still here? Good, let’s begin.

Stage 1 – Drone

Drones. Zombies. Boring people.

Oh yeah, the world’s teeming with these guys. They’re everywhere, and they’re generally kind of annoying.

They’re needy, they’re on auto-pilot, and they bring very little conscious value to the table. They probably have a job, partner, pets or kids. They seem satisfied with that, but it’s mostly because they’ve paid so little attention to life, they’re not even clear other options exist. I mean, intellectually they know, but they don’t BELIEVE those options are available.

But you can’t judge ‘em or hate on ‘em, ’cause I haven’t met anybody who hasn’t been through this phase (maybe Buddha or somebody, but I bet they went through it too.) – hey, I’ve been there.

Stage 2 – The "Rah-Rah"

You’ve met these as well, and they usually piss off Stage 1 people and Stage 3 people, heh.

It’s not intentional, but what they do is… they talk, a lot, about all the ideas they’re trying and how they’re gonna "do things." The chances of them actually accomplishing even 1% of their ideas is slim, but they like to talk about ‘em.

They sound like this: "Rah rah rah! I’m gonna do X. Rah rah rah! I’m doing Y…no…Z!"

This pisses off the Stage 1 guys, who’s ‘goals" are a ‘job,’ wife, paid off house or whatever. This also pisses off the Stage 3 guys, because it’s 99% talk, but we’ll get to that.

I was at this stage too, and it’s important. Yes, the people around you will be annoyed, and possibly drift out of your life, labelling you as a) a dreamer, b) an all-talk hypocrite, but you’re not, you’re just… in phase two.

Which leads us to…

Stage 3 – Fork-In-The-Road

The moment of truth.

This is where you’re pretty clear on your passion and what’s calling you. Whether it’s music, art, entrepreneurship, bizarre tiny food art, or something else, but you’re still kinda leaning towards the old, familiar path of 60 years of basic survival and then retirement. Most of your relationships are all stage 1s and 2s — maaaybe some stage 3s with you, and it feels scary to cut them all off cuz they’re clearly not ready for stage 4, but you’re on your way.

Stage 3ers have the choice every second to spend their time making moves, and aiming to connect with their role-models + idols – the one’s with the bold, badass biographies who lead their city or industry of choice – OR they can choose to spend their precious time, presence, attention and conversation with the stage 1s and 2s.

Here stage 3s almost always spend forever at this fork-in-the-road, trying desperately to convince, push, or wait-out their stage 1 + 2 friends and family, instead of just leaving them in the dust and moving on to stage 4.

Would seeing the decision for what it is, and making the clear, bold, committed decision to go for what they want, no matter who fades out of their life in the process be powerful and generate huge results?

Yep.

Will they realize this quickly?

Hahahaha. Well, I didn’t — but I can see it & teach it well now. Which is why I offer help with this.

Stage 4 – The Hidden Badass

This is probably the stage that scares people the most. It’s very visible when you’re in it, and people will talk. But they won’t see the badass part.

Most people see the hidden badass and view them as a failure. My family did

The Hidden Badasses are the ones living on kraft dinner, staying up late, being homeless, being dumped and betrayed, being disowned by family, etc.

Sound fun? Wanna be a stage 4? Hehehe.

This stuff happens all because a Stage 3er made the committed decision to be a success in their dreams – to be badass – and now all their old support systems are up-in-arms and hating on them.

Stage 4ers don’t really wanna be around their friends’ negative conversations, and going back to family usually feels like going back to stage 2 or 3.

They’ve quit their ‘cog-in-the-wheel’ jobs and money looks tight. Things. Look. Grim.

It’s not like stage 3 though, because for badasses, the decison is made. The bridge is burned. They’re not gonna be scared back to family or ‘job security’. Their fear is weak compared to their desire, their hunger, their focus.

Evvvveryone wants to avoid this phase, that’s why they like to drag phase 3 out as long as possible… buuuuut ya can’t avoid this.

It’s a rite of passage the marks the successful.

No one teaches you this though. No one explains that every human being needs to make peace with death, commit to their dreams, and be badass – or they need to make peace with only going as far as stage 1,2, or 3.

Anyway, when you get here – you have two choices:: embrace the scary rough patch or resist the scary rough patch.

Guess which one feels better and is easier?

The thing about this stage is… YOU know you’re a badass, YOU know you’re following your heart, but all anyone else sees is a failure. Really.

They see a broke person, they don’t see your potential. (Oh it’d be so nice if your friends + fam in stage 1&2&3 could see your potential and the path you’re on — but they can’t.)

They see "a rough 6 months," they don’t see 50 years of satisfying empire-building. They see "a lonely person", not someone who’s building truly supportive relationships at a high-level.

This stage kinda sucks on the outside, but inside, you know it’s as good as done and you’re almost at step 5.

Stage 5 – Success

The holy grail.

This isn’t much different from Stage 4, but now everyone who hated on you, is seeing your results. Things are materializing more and more. You have solid numbers backing you up. You hang with bigger players and it just keeps growing.

People compliment you and praise you and seek you out. Old friends try to get back in touch, even though they haven’t gone through any of the phases.

You find yourself thinking "Wow, I’ve been here all along, where’d you guys drift off to?"

This really is heaven, where you live how you want. Every moment is deeply appreciated and precious, and you’re not worried about anything, really. Life is just life, things are good, love is what you are and what you’re about.

You’ve Just Been Educated

You’ve just been enlightened about some very high-level understandings of life that parents, school, and society won’t give you. Blogs won’t give it to you. In fact, it’s hard for me to name anyone who’d give it to you so straight, except Ryze.

I told you this would change your life.

Most people go into this article thinking they’re a badass, but most people haven’t even REALLY reached stage 4.

It’s okay wherever you are, like I said, I’ve been through every phase, and I was surfing blogs in stage 1,2,3, and 4 also

So I ask again… with your new knowledge… are you a badass?

Lemme know in the comments, and I’ll help you ryze up!