Isn’t it time someone taught you life skills that really matter, that actually help launch you forward, and that improve your ability to rock whatever life brings?
Sure it is.
And if you haven’t read part one, and gotten the full story on how I apply The Life Skills Of Walking Away, you might wanna check that out first.
At the end of part one I mentioned three important life skills: making tough calls, finding positives, and letting go (of attachments).
1. Making Tough Calls
While I’m writing this, I’m chatting with a 19 year old chick in Sarnia, named Emily.
Em’s a cool girl, who’s been hemming and hawwing for over a month on whether or not to purchase a Samsung Galaxy S2.
The S3 is out now, and the S2 is on sale until New Year’s, sounds great right?
Well for a while, she’s been acting like it’s a "life-or-death" decision.
The people at Kodoo know her and she thinks if they see her yearn for it again, they’d all yell at her to "just get it".
Still she hesitates as if the world might end if she splurges on the phone, or as if the world might end if she just sticks with her current phone.
The truth is, this "S2 or no S2" choice… is such a tiny decision in a big life, that whether she gets it or not — any choice is the right choice.
Making a decision and taking action will transform a month of avoiding imaginary pain, or enjoying imaginary thrills into a real, useful, life experience that furthers Em`s learning, growth, and personal experience.
The thing is, Em clearly has very little practice "making tough calls".
It’s really simple to do, and it’s really simple to practice.
Our world will teach you to never listen to your feelings, try and predict the future, never take risks, and always stay safe in your comfort zones.
To practice making tough calls, you simply need to ‘get an idea’, and shorten the amount of time and analysis you give it before deciding.
Some people do this incredibly well.
Warren Buffet makes billion dollar investments based on a handshake.
Aron Ralston chopped off his arm to stay alive.
They’ve had some practice trusting their gut. They’ve made more bold decisions than most people. Maybe they started small, deciding whether to skip class without worrying and over-analyzing forever. Maybe they made bigger moves, like quitting a job with only a small cushion of savings, or moving to a foreign coutnry on a whim.
The point is, they have more practice than most of society.
You don’t need a textbook. You don’t need years of study. You already know how to make tough calls, you just need practice.
If most of your decisions take tons of ‘analysis’ and ‘worry’ and ‘mental airtime’, you are NOT skilled at making tough calls.
If you’re able to shorten and shorten the amount of airtime your choices get, and commit to some action, any action, with a smile and be open to the consequences, you are getting excellent practice making tough calls.
Any person who’s skilled at this, will run circles and achieve more than anyone who’s unskilled at this. Period. Hands down.
Sadly, some people will go their whole lives with no focus on this important ability.
I want better for ya.
2. Finding Positives
This comes right on the heels of Making Tough Calls.
Because once you make a choice, and take action, putting all the hemming-and-hawwing of decisions behind you, the next step is all about rolling with the consequences.
Again, this is a skill mastered by some of the world’s really successful.
Jay-Z has taken betrayal, a drugdealer’s history, growing up in the ghetto, harsh critics, the collapse of his nightclub and more and spun it into greater and greater fortune.
He was able to see positives reasonably quickly and clearly compared to most people.
Louise Hay ran away from an unsupportive environment, put a bad marriage behind her, and beat cancer, embracing all that and turning it into a self-help empire.
I practice this often and I’ve shared tips on how to focus on positives in this Ryze post and this Ryze interview.
Here’s something no one ever really makes clear:
Life is a whole series of choices, and even though it looks like we can predict what will happen from the actions we take… we can’t.
We have no idea what’s gonna happen.
People forget this, they expect result A, they get result B, and then they spend days and months and years worrying about it.
But the person who’s practiced and habitual about finding the good side of results A, B, and C has a ton of success at their fingertips.
If you read this carefully, if you pay attention, if you have an open mind, and you’re ready to understand — then the stuff I’m telling you here will really strike a chord and make an impact.
You’ll change your life. You’ll stop wasting time learning mediocre skills, and you’ll start practicing finding the good side of whatever comes your way.
Life’s a mystery, but you can help it work for you…
3. Letting Go
Last, but definitely not least, even people who are fantastic at Making Tough Calls and Finding Positives, will eventually come up against a situation, challenge, or obstacle that really feels horrible.
They may not have enough practice to use the other two skills.
Basically, things may look and feel like total shit.
You may be getting a divorce, which is the last thing you wanted.
You may be living on the streets, which is the last thing you wanted.
You may be physically ill, which is the last thing you wanted.
Things look absolutely horrible while it’s happening, but no one can really tell if it will contribute to your overall success and enjoyable life, or not.
This is where letting go comes in.
If we can let go, we can be a bit more like my friend James who divorced his ex, remained friends, and they both amicably allowed their kids to choose where and when they wanted to spend their time, no judgment and no questions asked.
If we can let go and move forward, ‘even’ being ‘crippled’ like Nick Vujicic can bring success BECAUSE of his limblessness.
What’s the standard? The status quo?
Well, it’s to have something ‘bad’ happen… and then fight it, moan about it, bring it up often, and give it tons of mental airtime.
We obsess about it.
Is obsessing about something "letting it go" ?
Nope, not even close.
Letting it go means, clearing your thoughts as best you can by focusing on whatever task is in front of you. Or through meditation. Or even through escape and distraction (but it’s important to be careful that doesn’t become a crutch or an addiction.)
In part one, I talked about turning down what initially looked like a fun job with Teresa and some much needed funds, while I was homeless.
I did that. I made the tough call. I found the positives.
And yet, it was still circling around in my head for a few hours afterwards.
It was so annoying to me that I was put in that position, and it was annoying to me that she didn’t seem to understand my expertise or sensitivity to energy and attitude, especially since she knows my work and brilliance.
I was furious, and for hours I just couldn’t let it go, and that’s pretty rare for me.
But I knew it was important, and it was a chance for me to practice.
Shortly after, I let it all go, wished everybody involved well, admitted it was totally for the best and that I was proud of myself.
So there ya go.
Practice, practice, practice.
Even though I "get" these skills, and "use" them well…
I still need practice.
Even though I can explain these uber-important life skills really well and I can apply them better than most…
I still need practice.
The whole point here is that these skills are life-changingly helpful on a massive scale, but they’re almost never mentioned, never used, and never practiced.
These skills not only help you walk away from thousands of things that would harm you and don’t suit your life at all, but they also help you have an easier time learning and doing all kinds of other things.
Hopefully you get what I’m sayin’ 🙂 And hopefully you have somethin’ to say yourself in the comments below 🙂
But hey, maybe you don’t want an easier time learning and doing things in life 😛