This is a giant post, and may actually top my other most vulnerable, raw, provocative expressions.
You’re in for a surprise with this tale from my life.
It’s one I’ve never told before, even though I’m super-comfortable expressing any aspect of my life, but because I only tell stories that feel well-timed and positively helpful.
It seemed like the perfect time, during my Young, Pissed & Financial series, and I was able to find some hidden gold in the journey that I know you’ll love.
So get ready…
The story’s called…
The rich, (poor) success-coach.
Like many stories, this story begins with love.
Because I love a lot of things. Humanity. Growth. Success. Women. Purpose. Meaning. Contribution. Food. Drink.
…I love money.
I haven’t always felt that way, though.
Like many artists, when I was younger I thought material wealth was foolish and money was not as important as soul.
I’ve 180’d on that in a big way, and now I write posts like Money Equals Love (complete with oh-so-passionate video.)
Now…Maybe you can relate: Despite loving money, I’ve had a history of financial mediocrity.
And a person’s history often sabotages them as they move forward, no matter how smart, confident, or persistent they are.
Because of this, money has rarely flowed the way I want it to, at least in my past.
Basically, reagulay people who *could* and *should* pay me, didn`t, and new people who *could* and *should* gravitate towards me to become clients, also didn`t.
Moves, experiments, and investments I made would generate all kinds of value. Connections, collaborations, social currency, karma, portfolios, bodies of work, skills, talents, wisdom, knowledge, life experience, stories, self-awareness, personal growth, deep happiness under nearly all conditions, and allll kinds of stuff that are insanely valuable. Stuff money can’t even buy, really.
But nothing I did would really make dollars flow on the scale I preferred and felt I deserved.
You could say that.
For anyone to love life, be positive, generously volunteer gifts, and change people`s lives…
… to Not Be Valued Financially and Not Flow Dollars Significantly is absolutely, mind-rendingly horrible.
It’s like knowing you’re insanely valuable, touching people in drastic, game-changing ways, and having vast chunks of society ignore you and watch you struggle and starve.
But… because it’s gone on so long, it was either kill myself, starve, beg, or adapt.
I chose adapt, and I’ve learned more than a few super-powers.
ie: belief-frogging, which helps me transform negatives into positives.
ie: off-the-charts health, and even on 800-900 calories a day and ~2-4hrs sleep a night, I still impressed my martial arts focused brother with an easy 10 chin-ups 🙂
ie: meditation to release stress and put my brain into alpha or theta states, in order to handle depressive despair, intense chaos, and the massive boredom that comes when you’re trying to kill 12 hours in the icy cold night of a closed down city, day after day, week after week.
Basically… I’ve developed something of a zen-like ability to remain positive and optimistic in the most chaotic financial shitstorms, and I’m completely unphased by anyone’s ‘predictions’ of doom and gloom.
Seriously, they make me laugh.
I’ve already lived through ‘worse’ than they imagine, and I still did whatever I wanted… with… ‘nothing’.
More with less.
I’ve done "more with less" than anyone I’ve ever known or read about.
Which I’m proud of, sure, and it shows that I certainly know how to stretch value out of my resources, and that I’m creative and resourceful — but there’s a downside:
Even though I’m able to find comfort and hope in rough financial situations that terrify others, and even though I can continue helping people and touching people…I don’t want to spend my life: "doing more stuff with less dollars." – I like dollars.
I wanna spend my life:
"doing game-changing & standard-setting s*** with tons of $$$."
I’m very, very clear on that.
And no one can say I haven’t tried.
With an aim towards doing more… and being provided with more at the same time, I’ve tried some things.I’ve experimented with almost every money-solution you can imagine.
I’ve had tons of ‘regular’ jobs. I’ve had 8 ‘failed’ businesses (everything from portraiture to coaching to author). I’ve tried newsletters, expensive products, cheap products, services, art, word of mouth, advertising, investors, employees, blogging, guest-posting, craigslist, networking, portfolios, donations, video, collaboration, JV, and tons more.
Business models, business plans, sales processes, demo-psycho-geographics, growth markets, accounting, budgeting, valuation, pitching, venture capital, minimum viable product, lean startups, boot-strapping, niches, positioning, branding, movements, emotion, influence, differentiation, 80/20, copywriting, herds, religion, philosophy, micro-payments, etc. etc. etc. – I’ve refined & redesigned my home page 7 times in 2 years on the advice of others. I do whatever it takes.
Fancy condo w/ ensuite jacuzzi, a personal chef, an assistant, a chauffeur, a beautiful wardrobe full of brand names, gold money clips, custom jewelry, tailored suits, $300+ dollar shoes, $400+ dollar jeans, $1000 original artworks, $4000+ PCs, Dre Beats laptops, tech, etc. — and I’ve had the experience of losing all that as well.
I’ve lived a lot of life in a short time. I was homeless for years, lost all my possessions, was jailed, betrayed, failed 8 businesses & 8 LTRs, and finally someone stole my life’s work, 8 terabytes of data.
I’ve been through hell. I’ve reached out for help.
I’ve done all that.
And through it all, people I open up to, and let them see the dark underside of my financial life, want to "give me advice" or "tell me what to do" — as if I haven’t tried enough. As if they have some magic key, when I actually seem and feel happier than they do in their lives.
What are they gonna suggest that I haven’t given a proper run? Crowdfunding?
I’ve tried practically everything.
Really, it’s all been a blur, and I’m such a hyper-creative renaissance-man that I can’t even tell you everything I’ve created and offered and marketed and written and taught, aiming to help others and be rewarded financially.
I’m kinda known for being effortlessly, naturally, hyper-productive, while my high-standards ensure what’s created is top-notch.
But for a good chunk of my life: top-notch and ignored.
And the truth is: for 11 years I’ve mostly "just gotten by", with occasional "spikes" of intense wealth.
That’s the pattern. No denying it.
Material wealth on a scale I feel suits me, and on a level that mirrors what I teach others… has eluded me.
I easily help other people gain more clients, unlock their limiting money beliefs, etc. — but my own situation had remained painful.
So, I’ve been very motivated to master this area, and like most of what I study, I look very, very deep into the subject.
I’ve studied alllll kinds of money wisdom, from money coaches, financial advisors, bankruptcy experts, bankers, entrepreneurs, business men, marketers, advertisers, tycoons, personal dev guys, authors, sales guys, and more. (seriously, if you know me, you know that when I put my mind to a subject, I absolutely obliterate it, inhaling, absorbing, and integrating all knowledge at an insane pace.)
I’ve hoped, and wished, and prayed, and meditated. I’ve studied and written and designed and borrowed and invested and sold.
And I have a lot of advantages.
- I was in the gifted program, I’m massively talented & intelligent, w/ insane work ethic and discipline.
- I adapted new metabolisms and histamine levels, and used polyphasic sleep.
- I cut costs so much that I was living, working, playing and sleeping on ~$15 day.
I did that for almost 2 years, as I continued happily helping any client I could attract, blogging wisdom that got tweeted all over, and creating products and sales funnels.
Who creates all that under those conditions?
Seriously…what a life!
My days would be filled with incredible coaching calls where I transform others lives, or I’d create awesome landing pages and site designs, or I’d jumpstart someone’s brand or project, or I’d mentor some up-and-comer, and I’d do it all with next-to-nothing to my name.
Hopefully you’re getting a bit of a feel for what life was like as The Homeless Success-Coach.
Hopefully you can tell that every money-solution people could think of, I tried. (The only thing I never did was beg, panhandle, or act as if I had no value to offer the world.)
I even wrote about my journey publicly in many blog posts, (and hitting the publish button on that was pretty scary.)
But I was blessed because everyone who read them, pulled out their wallets and helped keep me going when things were super dark. It’s beautiful.
But it wasn’t permanent help.
It was just a band-aid on some ‘mystical, magical problem’ no one seemed able to solve.
I needed income streams and people buzzing and believing in me — not hand-outs.
I needed people recognizing, appreciating, and spreading the word about my value — not the odd person hiring me here and there.
I needed real guidance from a brilliant mentor who ‘got me’, ‘got my history’ (and my dream) — not 5-step systems that dont dig deep.
Just give up, J-Ryze…
And so people started running out of ideas that might help, and they’d just tell me to give up and go back to the job world. They`d suggest I put the success-coach thing aside or squeeze it into "off-hours".
Even people who I`d done work for, who knew I was a talented creative genius, and would testify to it.
One 6-figure business man who`d invested in me previously, told me literally to "do what you hate" just "get a job".
As if I’d never done it before, or as if I hadn’t considered it, or as if I was too stubborn or egotistical to be open to that solution.
He recommended it because "doing what he hated" was his ‘best solution’ during a tough time in his own life.
Funny thing is, that for years, no matter what was going on financially, I continued growing Ryze. In major ways.
Connecting and collaborating with more people, helping more clients, improving and refining the brand, creating products, authoring materials, writing books, designing, making art and more. I even managed to "hire" staff or rally others to my cause…
…all despite being homeless, starving and sleepless.
How bizarre is that?
Coaching the coach.
Even a certain money-coach saw my website and just assumed I was insanely well-off because of how well done it is, and that I was emailing her to collaborate on a joint-venture — not because I was a potential candidate for money advice – lol.
Let’s called her Akiko.
So I hopped on skype with Akiko for a consultation.
She was like, "well, from what you’ve told me, I cant understand… why are you living hand-to-mouth?"
I almost snapped.
"WTF, Akiko? You’re the money coach, I explained my situation — AREN’T you supposed to DIAGNOSE me????"
She said "…don’t get angry."
I said "No way, I damn sure am angry and its a fucking good thing. No human being should be emotionally zen after doing everything I’ve done, and then reaching out to a money coach for help, and then that coach asking him to self-diagnose his blind spots is an infuriating thing, pure and simple."
I’m a coach and I help tons of people in substantial ways, and I pride myself on zeroing in on their root problems fast, before they even finish speaking a sentence or two.I’m 100% in-the-zone with all the secret data my clients broadcast – conscious and unconscious – I aim to clear ’em up w/ solutions, ASAP.
And I`m very raw, real, and honest with anyone who coaches me, because I know that it sucks to have an uncommunicative client.
I even helped Akiko with her marketing — because yes, I’ve studied so much marketing it’d make your head spin — and she knew it and admitted it, though I don’t think she acted on it.
She said, and I quote "Maybe you should go into marketing, ’cause you seem really knowledgable about that."
YES, Akiko, maybe you`re not getting this — I’m a kind of savant. I have a voracious appetite for knowledge and wisdom, and I’m "really knowledgeable" about MANY things.
I know TONS about sex, one of my fave topics — should I be a sexologist? (hmm… :P)
I’m not looking to change industries every 2 seconds. I’ve been an artist, a designer, a writer, and more. And through it all, the thing that amps me up the most is using my positivity and deep awareness, and ability to related to help others succeed. Success-coach. Yes.
I’m a renaissance-man.
I’m way beyond average in many areas.
I’m a wise, well-read, photographic-memory guy, and I help people with marketing here and there, but I’m not passionate about it, and I wasn’t asking her to decide a new industry for me on the first call.
I wanted someone who helps me flow dollars as I’m meant to. I wanted someone who’d help me be rewarded by the market for the value I know I deliver. I wanted someone who could zero in on the problem and focus on solutions that suit me.
Light at the end?
I’ve recently come upon a new solution.
A very unique, far different from everything else I’d tried solution.
"Jason, everything you are and have created, and all the people you’ve helped *are* super-valuable. And all the solutions people gave you would’ve worked for *most* people, but you have a super-deep magical blind-spot, probably inherited from generations of financial pain and obstacles. It’s not your fault, it’s not unsolvable, and it’s not gonna need you to ‘try’ or ‘do’ or ‘bank’ on another empty solution."
When I came across this, I was absolutely stunned.
After years of trying every solution under the sun, and listening to everyone advise me as if they knew best… here was this new chick who seemed to "get" me.
Someone who wasn’t judging me, wasn’t telling me to follow their system, and sounded like they understood my insane hamster-wheel of solutions and massive dedication to change.
Who was she, you maybe wondering.
Well, her last name was certainly on point, lol.
The heart of money.
And interestingly, her solution didn’t focus on 1 human being, against all odds, struggling to find their own blind spot, nose to the grindstone “trying” a million experiments — her solution instead leveraged some of the powerful tools of life, which I use allll the time to help others.
Hah. I probably should’ve realized that all the other solutions people suggested or that I found… DIDN’T use these, and so, they’re generally pretty weak for someone like me.
Anyway, Deborah was a blend of super-spiritual & super-practical, and like me, knew deep principles.
Like she knew that "the root of money is human energy," and she was efficient, instead of spinning wheels solving symptoms, focused on the root cause.
To her, living "hand-to-mouth", "ineffective marketing", and "minimal exposure" in business weren’t problems to solve, they were symptoms of a much deeper problem.
I was impressed and riveted.
She had my full attention, and I felt deep in my soul that my time on the hamster wheel was over.
I didn’t even know what needed done, but I had a really good feeling about her solution.
The first step she suggested was use my own story, growth, and mythology to get some perspective and a handle on what’s really going on, instead of blindly trying all the marketing wisdom, niche-finding, client-attracting systems that the experts had for me.
Understanding and illuminating problems fully always allows for easy change.
I totally agree. It’s what I do for all my clients, quickly illuminating the REAL cause behind any of their problems, and moving quickly to a proper solution.
So… for someone like me who almost never looks at the past, always focused on Now and Forward… here’s an interesting look at my childhood.
Here’s my results of the 4 part Money-Foundation-Exercise that Deborah suggests.
|Money Patterns||Money Themes|
|Money Emotions||Money Beliefs|
Money equals love
My value is huge, massive, unlimited…
My intelligence SHOULD help me make a s***load of money…
Notice how the feelings and themes are all over the place, some positive, some negative. It’s a lot different than someone who’s just "secure and at peace" with X, but it was really hard to see these hidden beliefs, and no one bothered to dig or look or even ask me about my history or suggest that awareness of it might be a key to unlocking things.
When Deborah L. Price did, I was stunned.
And here’s my results from her second exercise: The Childhood, Stream-Of-Consciousness Money Story.
J-Ryze’s old ‘money story’.
One of my earliest memories was that of having less allowance than all the other kids. I can’t remember how it was justified, I just remember being annoyed, and then accepting it. After that, I remember being rewarded with a loonie any time I could remember a book of the bible, and I began to massively value reading, knowledge, and memory.
I also remember that it was made clear that although we "didn’t have a lot of money" we always had fun and things somehow "worked out" and we had "some nice things". I also remember Dad passionately throwing the phone at us when we were using "too much hydro".
I remember Nana giving me $100 to go to Paris and I was in heaven. I remember Integrity Enterprises going bankrupt, same with SoluFeed. I remember my whole entire family working for bosses and settling for very little. I remember Glenn being super generous, yet also proud of how he juggled debts.
I remember Roy settling for less than he was worth over and over. I remember renting video games as a treat. I remember being lent money by Ken, Nick, etc. and never being able to pay them back. I remember no one accepting money from others, and always fighting to be the one paying the bill. I remember doing lots of work for others and them not paying me back.
I remember being adored and fed by the rich kids for my company, positivity, and renaissance-man skills.
I remember starting many businesses with many partners, and all of them "giving up" before me, leaving me holding the bag. I remember giving and giving until I had nothing, because somehow I knew I could.
Generally my childhood was surrounded by people barely keeping their heads above water, or making ends meet. It was filled with people who either felt guilty for giving, guilty for spending, or guilty for receiving.
And that’s what I’ve ended up doing my whole life.
And that’s real, and that’s raw, and that’s the taboo-money-stuff that almost everyone has in their past. Or something like it.
For example: People born wealthy are usually judged by others right out the gate, and money is used to control them and ‘push’ them as kids, or they weren’t loved or seen as friend-able because they had so much material wealth.
Some people believed in race or sex limitations, raised to think they couldn’t make very much.
Everyone has a money story. Most have been burned, and have really lame beliefs that absolutely cripple them and self-sabotage them over and over.
What subtle, hidden beliefs come from my money-story?
A. I always have less than others.
(Opposite: I always have more than enough.)
A. I’m rewarded with money by working and being exceptional.
(Opposite: I’m deserving and entitled to be, do, or have anything I desire; life is a gift and human’s are worthy.)
A. Things barely work out financially, it’s always close.
(Opposite: Everything I do is prosperous and financially rewarding, including play, rest, projects, and work.)
A. No one in my family ever succeeds in business.
(Opposite: Success in business is natural, according only to our internal beliefs, which are easily changed.)
A. Any financial endeavour I engage with others, they’ll give up on.
(Opposite: I’m surrounded by, and collaborate with fun, committed, financially abundant others.)
A. My clients, family, and friends are poverty-stricken or middle class at best.
(Opposite: My circles including clients, fam, friends and more are naturally wealthy, generous, and overflowingly abundant.)
Can you see how these insanely limiting beliefs would sabotage everything and anything to do with money?
And so… maybe I just needed to "do the right affirmations" right?
Will affirmations save me?
They’re a first step, seeds to inspire new neural pathways and new actions.
If you wanna dissolve old thinking and beliefs, and transform ’em into better ones… you need changed thoughts and emotions.
Thoughts are super-powerful, especially when they become BELIEFS, and changing beliefs is often the most necessary thing to generate change.
But they only work if they’re done correctly, and almost no one on earth knows how to do them correctly.
Do I do ’em correctly?
Well, I know how better than most, and we`ll take a look at that in the next article 🙂
This one`s gone on long enough, and I’ve aimed to give you insight and exposure to some of the deep, intense things that can go on, even in the heart and mind of a brilliant success-coach 😉
In the meantime, I’d love it if you’d share some of your own early money stories, lets get some of this stuff out into the open instead of buried and hidden. Trust me, just expressing it and being aware of it and having someone real and supportive to share it with will unlock magic in your life. 🙂