Steve Bodansky Intro

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

And this Dickens quote has nothing to do with the rest of this post, but I’ve always wanted to start a post like that. 😛 Don’t worry though, there’s a ton of goodness to follow, and it’s focused on a topic that was totally un-talkable during Dickens’ time.

What topic?

S. E. X.

I know, right?

Even in our modern times, this can be a taboo topic, but my friends Steve & Vera Bodansky dedicated their lives to the study of sensuality and the power of orgasm.

Which to me, is pretty damn cool.

Like, who does that? (Well there’s always David Deida & Nicole Daedone…)

Anyway, the Bodansky’s have been doing this a very long time, and they’ve written a number of books on the subject — and what I wanna share with you is their recently released, first fiction novel.

(Note: I’m friends with Steve Bodansky, I love what he stands for and have no problem singing praises. I’m biased and I love it.)

Update: According to Good Morning America, this book is currently inspiring the open-minded Heather Graham’s next movie. Exciting!

The title, while not exactly artfully gripping, is definitely super-clear.

Extended Massive Orgasm: The Novel.

The book is half coming-of-age story and half sex instruction manual. It tells the story of Joseph, and although it’s intended for broad age groups, it can get pretty graphic at times… though I’m sure nothing Ryze Readers can’t handle (or love :D).

Anyway, remember your first chat with your parents about sex? Birds and bees or whatever? Or even better… remember your sex ed. class in school?

If your school was anything like mine, sex ed. kinda sucked.

School barely scratched the surface on the complex topic of sex.

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I’ve always had an insatiable appetite for knowledge & wisdom, on all topics, and I remember that parents & school provided very little info on sex.

A semester of sex ed. basically taught me: "insert part A in to slot B" and "use a condom."

Lame.

They conveniently left out any real insight into:

  • pleasure
  • polyamory
  • lgbt
  • anal
  • masturbation
  • bdsm
  • role play
  • spiritual/mental/emotional/physical aspects
  • and much more

All I really got from ’em is: "society doesn’t talk about this stuff, so like… remain ignorant and/or do it shamefully, in secret."

Weak sauce.

The Bodansky’s deliver the exact opposite in this book, painting a more well-rounded and optimistic picture about much of the above, as we follow Joseph’s inner-thoughts & feelings and his outer actions and behavior towards his girlfriend, and later, as he grows and develops… girlfriends.

The book goes over the thoughts, curiosities and explorations many of us would love to know more about.

Open your mind.

This book takes an open mind to read, and it’ll probably open your mind more.

As Joseph begins his journey, he doesn’t even have a girlfriend, but by then end… well, he’s got that and more.

sex-health-benefits

The multiple girlfriends aspect of the book is one of my favorite parts, because it addresses a (possibly) DNA-based compulsion and universal fantasy for any masculine-leaning person (what guy doesn’t want more than one girl?) – and more importantly, it addresses a very clear, very precise desire I’ve had personally, for a long time.

(Wanna know more about my personal take on this? You may’ve heard me share my views on harems before.)

Joseph is raised by sexually open-minded parents, and spends time with his sexually open brother (Buddy) and his brother’s girlfriend (Maybe). They have an extremely interesting relationship, where there’re affectionate feelings of one kind or another between the three of them.

It comes off as tasteful and understandable, feelings that I don’t think are that uncommon during childhood, but that are often repressed, ignored, and definitely not openly discussed.

What I mean by ‘openly discussed’, is exactly what you get by reading the book. There are numerous examples of healthy, non-judgmental, innocently curious discussions of sex in EMO:The Novel.

One incident occurs early in the book, where Joseph, Buddy and Maybe are on the beach chillin`. Buddy and Maybe are bf and gf, and Joseph is kind of a tag-a-long. While on the beach some young punks start calling Maybe a ‘slut’, ostensibly because she’s with two guys.

Instead of snapping into a knee-jerk rage, Maybe calls the boys over confidently. She asks if they have sisters or girlfriends. They say yes. She asks how they’d feel if someone treated the girlfriends/sisters similarly. They look down sheepishly, feel bad, and apologize.

(*I’ll note here that Maybe was raised by her grandparents, who’re sex and relationship counsellors.)

Anyway, the point is, Maybe takes a hot-button word like slut and defuses it, and the conversation she has is one we could all emulate, and it’s just one example of the calm, level way sexual topics are addressed through Joseph’s story, as well they delve into the back-story of how the main characters were raised, and where they got their unique views on sex.

Dig into feelings.

Another thing I really enjoy about the book is how it shares Joseph’s horny thought-processes. Think about it, no one knows where thoughts come from, but we can certainly have some powerful one’s.

I mean, we all have brains & bodies, wandering the earth, and can’t always control our thoughts.

So whadda ya do when you have a thought like "Damn, I’d love to have sex with those two chicks together."

Do you immediately feel ashamed, repress it, and start hating your own fantasies?

Here’s an excerpt from the book:

"…I had thought that I would never feel this way about another woman. I still of course had strong feelings and a strong connection with Maybe, but here was a possibility for something…I did not mention Maybe to Keri at first as that was a delicate subject for most women to understand. I did not know how Keri would take the news and I was not ready to give up Maybe or alienate Keri."

Anyone who’s ever had a crush on two people at once might feel similar.

You can do better.

Now, EMO: The Novel is the Bodansky’s first foray into novel writing, and it kinda shows. And I’m only saying this to help you set your expectations, ’cause I loved it, but don’t expect the next J.K. Rowling.

It doesn`t help anyone to deny reality, and when someone tackles their first book, the reality is they might have some rough spots.

So… expect fun, because it’s a fun read. Expect fresh views on sex, relationships and pleasure. Expect the occasional typo or awkward dialog.

Interesting note: At first I didn’t really like all the "penis" and "vagina" and "labia" terminology, ’cause you know Ryze is all about natural, ‘dumbed-down’ lyrical flow — but then I realized it may have been done intentionally, because as the book progresses and Joseph becomes more comfortable with sex & relationships, we get a lot more "pussy" & "cock", instead. Pretty cool.

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I also feel there’s room for a sequel because towards the end half of the book, Joseph ends up with even more women. Some become relationship/sex-counsellors as well, passing on their own life experiences and teaching others.

It also starts getting very spiritual and abstract, leaving the door open to ‘bigger experiences.’

The skinny.

I love the book. It touches on many things Ryze is about.

Taboos.

Sex.

Ryzing pleasure.

In the beginning, Steve Bodansky says:

"I feel our society is too narrow minded in dealing with sex… This book is for people of all ages and there are lots of sensual and sexual episodes that just like in our non-fiction books may increase your skills as a lover. If adults would be more open about sex and if people did not see pleasure as something that is sinful and done in the dark and talked to our young people more about it, teenagers could learn to give and receive pleasure without having to have intercourse I think it could open up a whole new world of beneficial possibilities and hopefully some much missing dialogue."

I totally, whole-heartedly agree.

Finally… I love how the book wraps up, with a deep appreciation of every moment, and the narrator wishing me some good sexual karma 🙂

Aw yeah. Respect.

In the end, the narrator Joseph says:

"My life is full and it is full of a lot of fun, fantastic sex, great friends and people who want to help me. In order to stay on this path I have to appreciate whatever happens each moment it is happening. I want to give back or pass it forward and by having you as my confidant maybe you too will have some of my good karma rub off on you."

Couldn’t we all use less societal shame, and more encouragement to live a full, pleasurable, enjoyable life?

I’m so glad I read Extended Massive Orgasm: The Novel, and I encourage any of you who are looking for an allowing, wise, sexy book that changes the game just the right amount, to invest in it. Support the Bodansky’s and their work & at the same time embrace a better sex life for yourself.

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