Traditionally there’s been a LOT of confusion surrounding sex + gender. Let’s take a moment and clear it all up, so we can learn and explore together smoothly.

  • Myth #1: A man is a ‘man’ and a woman is a ‘woman’.
  • Truth #1: Every human being has the choice to be anything they want at any time.

This means that the world is filled with many ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ qualities, and that every person can choose their own personal blend, and balance that suits them. Some people are suited to be a focused, driven masculine type who immerses themselves in work. Others prefer to be a soft, flowing, supportive type who spends vast chunks of time on connection and nurturing. Still more have an interesting and changing blend of both styles, on a wide base of topics.

Be you.

With that being said, all throughout Ryze we’ll be referring to a ‘masculine-identified person’ as a ‘man’ or ‘guy’, and a ‘feminine-identified-person’ as a ‘woman” or ‘chick’.

  • Myth #2: Sex means physical intercourse.
  • Truth #2: Sex is a creative force, at work in some form or another in every human interaction.

This is the reason why people can ‘turn anything into an innuendo’, this is the reason we can feel ‘sexual tension’ in the most normal situations. This is why we get metaphors like “he’s married to his work” or “that project is like her baby.”

  • Myth #3: There is an appropriate amount of sex to have.
  • Truth #3: Everyone is individual, growing, and changing the amount of sex that suits them.

Everyone grows at their own pace, in their own direction, especially sexually. This might sound like it would make it difficult to have smooth, aligned, long-term relationships with someone else (or many others), but it’s not. What it does it help you filter and find people who are interested in growing at a similar pace, in a similar direction to you. It allows open discussion and understanding. It promotes honesty, authenticity, and being true to yourself.

  • Myth #4: Having sex drains your energy.
  • Truth #4: Having sex requires an investment of energy, and can easily net you more.

Sex, like everything in life, is an art. If it’s an art you’re passionate about, and enjoy, it can contribute powerfully to your life. It can uplift you, help you, and create more energy. If it’s something you don’t see the benefit to, or something you think you have to compromise and sacrifice your real dreams to get, it will quickly waste your energy.

Alright, with that taken care of, we can talk about the real language of sex: polarity.

Let’s Talk Polarity

Polarity is the balance of energy. It’s the interaction of opposites. Hard and soft, yin and yang. Everyone’s behaving a certain way at a certain time, and the way they are behaving is an expression of their ‘energy’. If they feel happy and upbeat, they will show that somehow. If they are feeling not-so-happy, they’ll show that too. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes it’s subtle, but it’s always there.

A woman might spend all day at work being hard, disciplined, and independent. She may come home and want to use a different energy.

A man might get picked on, hated, or ridiculed by family early in the day and fail to speak up for himself. Later he may want to take more of a stand.

Emotional, logical, gentleness, firmness, flowing, directed, togetherness, independence, beauty, power – all of these are examples of polarity.

Now, if you want to really connect with another human being, understanding this language of polarity helps, big time.

polarity, sexuality, art yin-yang
Think about this:

“Have you ever observed 2 people of with the same energy-level and same energy-type express themselves together for prolonged periods of time? How much can we really learn from the experience of interacting always with duplicates of ourselves?”

Do you often see two super-hyper, crazy-energetic people together for long periods? How about two extremely depressed and suicidal people, do they hang for long?
How about two aggressive, assertive, dominant people? Or passive submissive ones?

No, because there’s no variety, no differences. They’re way too similar on way too many topics. Each person brings the same thing to the table, when a real connection happens when each person brings something different to the table.

I’m willing to bet that if you have seen this occur, it hasn’t been very often or for a prolonged period of time.

One way or another, life will separate same-polarity people. Whether they drift apart, become bored, or blow up in a fight… they’ll generally be separated through the (what appears to be) ‘circumstances’ of life.

Of course people don’t always behave exactly the same at all times, but they do tend to have natural habits which suit them, and aren’t easily changeable. A logical person can of course be understanding and emotionally supportive. An emotional person can listen to practicality and use structure if needed. Often though, people want to be what feels natural to them inside, and to deviate from that too much can feel horrible.

Remember, this can apply to any kind of relationship: business, romantic, or friendship, because sex is creative power, and it is everywhere.

How To Use It

You may have heard the phrase “A relationship starts fresh every day; treat every day as if it’s the start of the relationship.”

This phrase says a lot if we really look at it, and what it means is that no matter how good or bad you have it, you can use polarity and energy, make it a priority, and get mind-blowing results.

This example applies to all masculine/feminine relationships, and they can be seen everywhere, even in nature. For example, we can understand the polarity in a river:

The banks of a river to the flow of the water. If the banks of the river begin to crumble, become less solid, and erode, the river becomes a swamp or a lake. If the flowing water becomes cluttered, blocked up, and becomes still, the river is changed – or even if it overflows and floods, bye-bye river.

Same thing goes for a masculine-feminine romantic relationship. If the man becomes too unstable, changing, or flowing the relationship suffers. If the woman becomes too directed, stuck, or dramatic, the relationship suffers.

Diagram of river & banks as feminine and masculine.

(c) 2011 Ryze - Polarity + Sex: River Example

It helps so much if you understand how to keep polarity in a relationship, and it may take some study and some practice – but let me ask you, is there anything you wanted in life that didn’t take at least a bit of study/practice?

I had a relationship once where my girlfriend chose not to commit to the relationship and chose not to ask or invite my direction, and in her heart did not respect my choices or my vision.

I was committed to doing whatever I could to be a solid, directed, success-focused guy, but more and more my resources were being eroded, my business crumbling. No matter how strong I made my river-banks, she seemed determined on a path to drama and emotional flooding. It felt impossible for me to keep up, no matter how many incredible things I did, or miracles I pulled off. In the end I told her that I’d hit my limit, I was broken and I needed time and space on my own to get my brand + business back together. Shortly after she dumped me with a 2 line email that sounded more like her family talking, than herself. It all worked out for the best, but you can see how polarity played a role

Apply Your New Knowledge

I’m telling you this story so you can see what happens when either person chooses not to focus together on polarity-based solutions. You don’t have to experience the same thing I experienced, but you can imagine what will happen in your life with out-of-control, misunderstood polarity, and you can imagine what happens if you master polarity as the language of sex + relationships.

Be clear what role you’re playing, and what role others are playing, in every moment. Teach people to do this as well, and we all benefit.

Anyone who understands it can and will have massive success in these areas.

Sit down and make a list of qualities you really like to be, and then your subconscious will begin working on attracting and filtering someone who will help you be that or transforming people around you in powerful ways. If you don`t do any work on yourself, and don`t practice the language of polartiy, expect to get the same results you`ve always been getting.

Actually take physical action, write out some qualities you like in yourself, and like in others, and you`re on the path to sex and success 😉


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