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Painful Withdrawal From A Different Kind Of Addiction

By Jason "J-Ryze" Fonceca - follow him on twitter. 30 Comments

do-you-like-stories

Jason gives the counselor his attention, despite feeling like he could teach the class himself. How did a rockstar urban shaman like him end up at government-enforced anger management?

"Did you hit Hailey?" the counselor spits.

"Man, it was nothing — " Jason explains.

"It was clearly something."

"Look, Thomas… if anything it should’ve been a ‘Hey, Jason, don’t do that’. I had total control over myself and stopped as soon as she reacted, no one in their right mind would go and lay 3 charges on someone like me. She just snapped and ended up telling a whole bunch of stories. I have pages of emails and letters of her trying to take it all back. The cops didn’t care."

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Are You Giving Success Or Are You Giving Failure

By Jason "J-Ryze" Fonceca - follow him on twitter. 43 Comments

Note: This post was inspired by Renee Wade, Mary Sabros, and Danny Iny.

Maybe you’re like me.

I was raised to be a giver; to care, to nurture to love, to be the *nice guy*.

I won’t get into what that did to my understanding of my own masculinity, but I will get into what it did in my understanding of value, support, and giving.

I did what I saw all the nice people do.

  • I gave and got walked on.
  • I gave and people expected more.
  • I gave what people ‘said’ they wanted but clearly didn’t.
  • I gave things that actually enabled people’s bad habits.
  • I gave things that spoiled people and held them back.
  • I gave things that went ‘nowhere’ and were generally a ‘waste.’
  • I gave and I expected that giving to be appreciated and reciprocated.
  • I’ve never given someone stuff or time or attention just so they’ll keep me around, but I’ve had LOTS of people do it to me.
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