Well, they help you a LOT, if you understand them. Success and happiness are intertwined. A successful life is one filled with happy moments. And what is a happy moment?
Yep, it’s a moment when you’re FEELING HAPPY.
Not rocket-science, I know.
So why then do we know so little about our feelings, what they’re for, and how they help?
People are so eager to study skills, arts, and techniques, but they remain clueless about something as reliable as breathing: Their Feelings.
Well, it’s irrelevant why we don’t know, what’s important is that you’re about to understand your feelings, thoughts, and focus in a new way, read on.
Everybody has thoughts, feelings, and focus – they’re part of being human and they’re easy to access and they’re the key to our happiness and yet they still seem so confusing and magical to many people.
We’re going to talk about feelings because they’re very powerful, and usually misunderstood.
Feeling Good Is Key
We all aim to feel good, whether we know it or not. We mostly hope that we’ll stumble into a good job or a good relationship and THEN feel good, but we don’t take conscious control of our feelings; our most powerful tools.
When life presents us with events, we have feelings to guide us. "Follow your heart", right? Feelings are our success-GPS.
We have to use them though.
Have you mastered your feelings? Do you understand them? Have you put any effort or attention on them?
Aside from this article, when’s the last time you looked for information and ideas on The Art of Feeling Better? If you’re like most people, you can’t remember.
Doesn’t change the fact that EVERYONE wants to feel good, and EVERYONE has feelings to guide them.
You Know What Feels Right
Every expert can tell you things, and those things can help you or hinder you, and guess what… only your feelings truly guide you on which it is.
Decisions, when all the data is in, are ultimately emotional.
We don’t know what’s going to happen next, we can’t predict the future, and we choose things we think will feel better.
Deep down, every single human being knows the right choice for them at any given moment. (Even if those choices look ‘crazy’ to the rest of the world.)
It makes sense — no one likes being told that they don’t know what’s best for themselves.
No one likes someone else telling them how to feel.
That’s because people know at their core, that their feelings are personal, powerful, and helpful – and they have a reflex of getting pissed off if anyone suggests otherwise.
Feelings might go back and forth, moment-to-moment. They might be judged and labeled by society. They might be scary or they might be inspiring, but no matter what, they’re guiding us.
"I know that showin’ emotion don’t ever mean I’m a pussy." – Drake, Lord Knows
Pretending You Feel Fine?
I’ve been there.
Of course, we convince ourselves that we don’t have feelings – that we’re "fine" – even when we’re really a whole mix of emotions.
Feeling fine, is on the emotional scale, somewhere around the middle. Yes, you’re ‘fine’ but is that how you want to live your life? Feeling ‘fine’, all the time?
It only lasts so long though. Feelings will become stronger over time – until we listen. I know, I’ve done it, and so have all my friends.
Worthlessness, Fear, Hate, Anger, Doubt, Frustration, Pessimism, Boredom, Hope, Optimism, Appreciate, Love — these are all things people can feel. We have many labels for them, and some feeling is always present.
You’re Always Feeling…
…Except maybe when you sleep 🙂
In any moment, you’re feeling something.
Your parents may never have sat you down and explained anything about your feelings. Teachers may never have given classes on it.
But your feelings are there, and they guide you in your choices, to feel better, or feel worse, in every second.
Here’s a point-form look at how feelings are always guiding you, moment-to-moment:
- Moment #1: Feel <x>.
- Moment #2: Make some choice.
- Moment #3: Feel <x+ or x->.
What I’ve given you above is always applicable. Now you have a summary of every situation, and every circumstance, ever.
This is your rock-solid guidance tool, helping you get on-track to your own personal success.
If you’re feeling worthless, you can choose to get angry at something, and maybe that ‘feels better’.
If you’re feeling content, and then you start worrying about rent, maybe that ‘feels worse’.
Feelings are simple, and always available. No one can take them from you, and you can practice them any time you want. They’re your instinct, your conscience, your guardian — whatever you want to call it.
The point is we all have them, forever, so pay attention to them. If you feel off, think something different, focus on something else, the world won’t end, and you’ll feel better.
The tricky bit is when you’re at one point on the feeling-scale, then you only have access to a single feeling lower, or a single feeling higher.
If you’re at anger, you can’t just suddenly JUMP to joyful, but you can move up the scale, moment to moment (even in a short amount of time,) and eventually reach joy.
Experiment With Your Feelings
How do we learn things? Words don’t really teach, but experience does.
You can find a thousands of successful people and ask them for their strongest wisdom, and it’s always the same. "Follow your heart", "be you", "trust your gut".
The only way to do that is to experiment with it. Your feelings will take you to strange places.
Have you ever tried it? Have you experimented and seen for yourself? Have you ever just tried listening to your feelings, and doing what feels better?
Surely you can wake up tomorrow and give it a shot without the world plunging into utter chaos.
You can do this, because your emotional guidance system is reliable and safe.There’s not one person on earth who doesn’t have death on its way, and if you’re going to live in fear of your feelings, and too scared to experiment with following your heart, you’re not really living anyway.
You Can Master Them
Listening to your feelings is something you can practice.
Yes, listening for the first time is something new, and maybe it’s even scary.
("Oh no, what crazy things might happen? Will I lose a job that I never wanted anyway? Will I lose a friend who doesn’t want to be successful until they’re 65? Oh noes! What will happen?")
Listening to your feelings a few times is the beginning of skill.
Do it enough and it becomes natural.
Master it and it becomes an easy habit that keeps you feeling awesome in your life, consistently guiding you to better feelings.
Successful people habitually listen to their feelings.
"I make up my mind about a business proposal within 30 seconds and whether it excites me. I rely far more on gut instinct than researching huge amounts of statistics. I feel numbers can be twisted to prove anything." – Richard Branson, Losing My Virginity
Listening to your feelings is fantastically life-changing. Someone alert LifeHacker – this is the ultimate life-hack. And it takes P – R – A – C – T – I – C – E.
Our society has years and decades and centuries of numbness and disconnection from our feelings.
We don’t follow our emotional guidance system, and wow, look at the results. How happy are we, as a society?
For me, I’m dedicated. I’m committed. I prioritize and listen to my feelings and I do it quicker and more precisely all the time. I listen to my feelings, and it helps, more than anything.
Continually growing success and happiness is the result 🙂
How Do Feelings Relate To Thoughts & Focus?
These other tools (thoughts + focus) are a little easier to understand. Everyone has thoughts and we communicate them all the time, and we focus by shifting our attention and our thoughts.
Whenever we do this, we are making a choice, and we are gonna feel different.
Feelings are the ultimate road-map, and even though sometimes they may seem a bit scary, they’ll keep you on track to success — only if you focus on better ones, though.
Here’s a single, simple, powerful thought that will keep you focused on feeling better.
"Nothing is more important than that I feel good," is the ultimate guideline. It’s simple and comprehensive at the same time. Plus, it’s easy to remember.
As always, all the amazing, eye-opening wisdom in the world is useless if you don’t put it into action.
Check how you’re feeling right now. Ask yourself what are some fun ways you can feel better? (Use a focus wheel which you can learn about in Ryze Foundations 2.0 – Ryze And Succeed!)
I can guarantee that your happiness is directly related to how well you’re able to follow your feelings. No matter how new it is, no matter how unpracticed you are, make it a priority.
Even something like getting clear on our 10 big success on-switches can help a lot.
So let’s hear it!
Have you ever listened to your gut and had it turn out amazing? Have you ever ignored your instincts and been burned? Share!
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